The Undie Chronicles Continue with…Vibrating Panties

As you found out yesterday, we missed National Underwear Day last week.

On Twitter today, we decided we simply MUST celebrate this holiday in style every year. Henceforth (I just love that word), August is the Month of Undie Homage.

This year we’re gonna start small and just have a quick trial run. A pilot, if you will. One week of Undie Celebration…right here at More Cowbell. I solemnly promise at least THREE special posts, with some variant of underwear, coming your way. *if you know what I mean*

I encourage y’all to join in and celebrate this week in your own special fashion. Diane Beebe has already kicked things off. It was “Undies, Undies, Undies” over at her place yesterday. And today, Natalie Hartford posted on FUNDIES FOR TWO.

Speaking of Nat, she met up with August McLaughlin and I on Twitter to start planning next year’s festivities. More on that tomorrow.

Of course those two got me thinking… And thinking…

What other sorts of Undies might be out there (that I haven’t mentioned here on More Cowbell)?

I found my answer in the comments section over at Natalie Hartford’s place. [You know all us tarty types hang out in her comments section and trade stories, right?]

This particular moment happened in yesterday’s post about Big Exercise O’s. EO’s are when lucky freaky women have orgasms at the gym. It was all Pauline Baird Jones‘ fault for bringing up “happy panties” in the comments. (She is SUCH a tart…)

I had to go look up what those were and Shut The Front Door! I found vibrating undies!!

Here’s Katherine Heigl to demonstrate them:


I looked at the other Google results, still expecting this to be a joke and HOLY COWBELL, THEY’RE REAL. I had to cover my eyes.

And just like my OMG post (Oversized Male Genitalia, in case you forgot), it was Amazon’s “People-who-viewed-this-product-also-viewed-this” section that got me revved up.

I mean, hello??? Who knew all these wild underpants existed?

Not me. (I’m actually quite sheltered.) [Shut up. I am.]

And the Product Features slayed me:

  • Silk and Lace Tie Side Panties
  • Removable Vibrating Bullet With 10 Unique Patterns
  • Wireless remote control that works up to 20 feet away!, – Glow-In-The-Dark LCD screen, – All Batteries Included, – Packaged in Designer Lingerie Gift Box

Glow in the dark?
All batteries included? (
Like FOREVER??)

Then I got to the Product Description…

This was the part of my Monday night program that sent me over the edge.

Product Description:
Here’s a frisky piece of lingerie that’s guaranteed to turn both of you on! these seductive tie-side panties are made from the softest lace and the silkiest satin ribbon. however, these aren’t just any old sexy panties! tucked inside the panty’s secret pocket is a 10 function wireless vibrating bullet that is operated by remote control from up to 20 feet away!

Can I just add that if my honey’s turning me on, I certainly don’t want him to do it from 20 feet away? What am I…a freaking remote-control car??!

One last curiosity I have: Does Sister Myotis know about these? (If she thought thong underpants were a weapon of mass corruption, she’s gonna pass out over these vibrating jobbers.)

Note: When you click the Amazon link to the vibrating panties, pay special attention to the “Product Ads from External Websites.” A Detox Kit?? I need Detox after wearing these? (The last time me and Detox met up, it wasn’t pretty.)

So are you with me? Are you ready to rock the Undie-verse? Any special festivities fermenting in your feverish brain? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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52 Responses to The Undie Chronicles Continue with…Vibrating Panties

  1. DANG girl, we are SISTERS from different mothers. I had these all lined up for TODAY’S post. I was so excited to blow your mind…LMAO! But I see, ya already got informed. Dang. Aren’t they fahhhbulous!!! That movie clip totally slays me. Something I am sure hubby would love to do to me just to watch me “squirm”! LOL!!
    Ok…I’m off to try and find some undie fun to knock your socks (or whatever….) off!
    And continue the search for the appropriate tiaras, feather boas and other fabulous accessories for our all-time, outrageous panty party!
    Squeeee…luv the undie celebrations and all the shout out and linky love…THANK YOU!!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      You see why I called you yesterday?? I could FEEL our “connect line” burning. And Hubby didn’t put me on speaker. Geesh.

      Anyway, I love your Fundies for Two post today so I think you’re already rocking the Undie-verse. You go, girl! (And I’ve watched that video like three times already. LOL…)

      Like

  2. Diana Beebe says:

    So funny! I have to agree with you–20 feet away is way too far. Hilarious! Thanks for the link love and mentioning my, um, unmentionables.🙂

    Like

  3. Thanks for sharing. The Katherine Heigl video was priceless. I’m really excited to hear what you three ladies are cooking up for the Undie celebration😀

    Like

  4. KA-SHNORT! doesn’t even make the grade.

    Gaaah! I want in on this parteeeeeee. But, what can top the vibrating undies? What?

    Why do I think I’ll be spending quality invitation-for-spam time on the computer today? There are whochamacallit balls from Fifty Shades, but I don’t think they count as undies. They give a whole new meaning to “internalization,” IYKWIM.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Gloria, it’s not about topping, it’s about adding nuance. I say go find yourself a way to celebrate undies whether it be video, audio, photo or memoir and get cracking. *if you know what I mean*

      Like

  5. LauraDrake says:

    I was okay, until they described lingerie as “frisky.”
    I’d so love to be in that ad agency when they were writing that advertisement!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I KNOW!! That “frisky” about took me to the floor in a heap. You have got to click on the first link to the vibrating undies – the ad copy is priceless.

      Like

  6. Pingback: Celebrate national underwear day with a panty party for two – Natalie Hartford

  7. Twenty feet away?????? LOLOLOLOL! OH my gosh, i can barely type i’m laughing so hard!!!!!!! This is perfect celebration for August, cause usually it is just hot and dull. LOLOLOL! I wouild add, rock on, but yeah, better now. LOL!

    Like

  8. Zack Kullis says:

    Thank you for sharing that! That video was fantastically funny! What a great way to bring some laughter and excitement to a dull morning full of paperwork.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Thanks, Zack! I hope you come get your laugh on every Monday. It’s a guarenteed “crack-you-up-fest” here at More Cowbell. (No pun intended)

      Like

      • Zack Kullis says:

        I saw a link to this on Twitter and am SO glad I came over. What a riot! I love a “crack-you-up-fest”, and will check it out as often as I can. (I think I just found my next white elephant gift!) 😀

        Like

        • Jenny Hansen says:

          Don’t be TOO hasty. You’ll want to be sure to click through my Undie Chronicles posts and also Natalie Hartford’s Twisted Tuesday posts ~ the products and variations are hilarious.

          p.s. We’re glad you clicked over too.🙂

          Like

  9. K.B. Owen says:

    Shut the front door, as Natalie has been known to say! This is too crazy for words. And what if the remotes get mixed up, when you’re out somewhere? You know, like when someone else’s key remote unlocks your door? (IYKWIM). Hahaha, I can just imagine that! More embarrassing than EOs at the gym, for sure!

    So, what do you think of adding historical undies to the mix?😀

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I think historical undies would be a FANTASTIC addition to the celebration. If I see enough posts out there, I’ll do an Undie Pimp or Promote on Friday with all the links.🙂

      And “like when someone else’s key remote unlocks your door?” BAHAHAHAHA! Killing me with this one…

      Like

  10. Zack Kullis says:

    Maybe you could do a celebration of undie-malfunction stories. I bet there would be some outrageous laughs! (last post, I don’t want to be overbearing) 😉

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  11. OMG, that is hilarious!! I’ve never seen that movie but the scene is too funny. That guy just letting it happen cracked me up too lol. I love the undie chronicles…keep it up! er, no pun intended. OK maybe it was.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Of course it was intended…you’ve got pun fun written all over you, girl! Thanks for stopping in. I’m so glad I’m not the only one dying over that video.🙂

      Like

  12. Stacy Green says:

    LMFAO. Loved this post and especially the video. Love Zack’s idea of undie-malfunction stories – I’m sure I’d have some sort of mini disaster, lol!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      We’re all ears, Stacy! You know enquiring minds LOVE to know these things over here.🙂

      Like

    • Zack Kullis says:

      I’m glad that I’m not the only person here with that kind of mini disaster! :/ I have some stories that should make me blush, but I’m not exactly a puritan. 😉 Would stories with velcro fly swimwear fall into this category?

      Like

      • Jenny Hansen says:

        I’m gonna say yes. I can’t wait to see your post.

        Like

        • Zack Kullis says:

          I was visiting a friend just over a month ago. She was throwing a summer party (celebrating the 100+ degree temps, I guess) in her back yard. There was a pool, plenty of grass, and a volleyball net. After playing volleyball, we moved to the pool and just lounged around for a while. I had jumped out of the pool (who uses those stairs?) and walk around the backyard for the next few minutes, chatting, socializing, and displaying a large part of my member through the gaping opening. If you have never worn such a piece of short, LOL, let me tell you that the velcro on either end of the fly also seems to keep the opening agape. The “jump” out of the pool had pulled the velcro apart, but it was hot enough (no wind) outside that I didn’t notice anything.

          I didn’t know most of the people there. This probably contributed to the fact that NOBODY bothered to tell me about my shameless showing. We made our way inside the home to have some drinks that were just being pulled off the ice. I made it as far as the kitchen when the draft from the AC gave me quite the shock. Looking down, I noticed myself (a healthy portion of myself) and quickly jerked the velcro back to where it belonged. I looked up, and into the face of my friend’s very attractive cousin. She was beet red with suppressed laughter as she tied to seem like she was looking anywhere but where she had been looking.

          Looking back, I realize that I don’t get embarrassed as much about things as I probably should. That’s okay. I made quite a few friends that night.

          Like

  13. I can’t wait for tomorrow’s “more!”😉 Who knew my namesake month (sort of) celebrated undies with such pizzazz.

    Are these puppies noisy? If not, I could see them making boring tasks, like jury duty, much more enjoyable. lol

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      If you watch that video (like I did about 8 times) you’ll see the guy next to Katherine Heigl checking his phone because he thinks it’s vibrating. So, I’m thinking these babies make some buzzz. If it’s not TOO loud, I can see it livening jury duty right up!

      I adore the fact that National Undies Day is in August. Such a stellar name and month.🙂

      Like

  14. Jess Witkins says:

    You are one FUNNY lady, Jenny. And by that I mean you write about smut and I love it.

    Are these on your Santa Wish List this holiday?

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      You know, I think it would scare the bejeezus out of me to wear those in public. They aren’t on my Santa List, but I’ll bet they’re now on my husbands. LOL…

      Like

  15. Julie Glover says:

    Oh my goodness. My gut nearly fell out when I read the words “Glow in the Dark.” Seriously?? ROFL. You know how your pop-ups start suggesting items based on what you’ve bought with Amazon before? I can’t imagine what ads these buyers are seeing. Meanwhile, I’m getting pitched books and shoes.

    Like

  16. I only have one undie story, but I know you’ll appreciate it. My hubby did a load of laundry, separating out his clothes first and then washing mine. When he went to fold everything, he started cracking up – of my clothes, he washed 20 pairs of panties and two tee shirts. To top it all off, he took a picture of it, lol!

    I love you two women – and Pauline for bringing up the happy panties! Looking forward to the celebration you’ve got cooking!

    Like

  17. Fabio Bueno says:

    Jenny, I have no idea how you unearth such gems. I wonder what the Amazon algorithms make of your shopping and viewing patterns…🙂
    Here’s an idea for an upcoming post: share with us what the Amazon page suggests to you. This should be fun🙂

    Like

  18. I’m especially intrigued by the “removable vibrating bullet.” A bullet? What if you kid gets ahold of this little jobber (like when you’re laundering the things) and sticks it up his nose or in his ear? I mean can you imagine explaining THAT to your kid’s doctor?

    And please, whatever you do, do NOT wear these at the gym if you’re an EO. You’ll be having even louder screaming orgasms every time you get on the exer-cycle. Can you imagine that excitement? Someone uses the remote control to turn the tv channel and the girl on bike 12 screams “Harder!”

    I’m getting some really ugly images in my head right now so I’m going to stop.

    Really fun post. You certainly did your homework. Now go say a dozen our fathers and wash your eyes out with soap.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Like

  19. Elena Aitken says:

    ha ha. I LOVE that you’re celebrating this awesome holiday!

    Like

  20. Laurie Evans says:

    That movie scene was hilarious! Great post.

    Like

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  22. Gilliad Stern says:

    I guess I must live the sheltered life myself. I didn’t know that these exsisted. I have the movie the scene came from, but I never realized or bothered to look if these were real. So funny!

    Like

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  25. That video is awesome! The Amazon suggestions crack me up. Seriously, you find the coolest stuff. Happy Undies Week!

    Like

  26. Tia Bach says:

    I loved that scene in Ugly Truth. Hilarious. But I agree, if hubby’s turning you on, you want them closer than 20 feet away. LOL! Seems there needs to be a panty party next August with much fanfare. I’d be there!😉

    Like

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