The Undie Chronicles – Episode VI: Man-Style Goes To The Zoo

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles…

You may be unaware that when the Undie-verse speaks we will always  listen.

You might  even have missed:

• Episode I: Christian Panties
• Episode II: G-Strings
• Episode III: Thunderwear
• Episode IV: Final Episode (which marked the beginning of the  Portmanteau Era)

I’m thinking I might need to set up a glossary page so you’re up to date on ‘Undie-Speak.” For example, did you miss any of the following?

• Thong underpants – the weapons of mass corruption from Episode 1
• The #pantypeeps hashtag on Twitter. (Episode 2)
• The “quick draw” from Thunderwear (Episode 3)
• The Undie Poll (Episode 4)
• “Lickies”…Cheekies…G-knits…Panty-structions! (also in Episode 4)

Last, but not least, you might have missed The Undie Chronicles: An Epilogue…”Man-Style,” which serves as the hors d’oevres for today’s Undie Smorgasbord. That post (Episode 5) kicked off a hell of a lot of Christmas shopping amongst the More Cowbell Posse!

Prepare yourselves. Set down the beverage.

Today, in honor or Dr. Seuss’s birthday on March 2nd, the Undie-verse has spoken once more (through a certain Etsy knitter in Lithuania)!

This ingenious creator of Undie Style…the woman who brought us the world famous pachyderm Mundies shown below [portmanteau = “pachymunds”] has put her creative needles to some amazing new use. All photos below are linked.

Pachymunds – these sexy knitted nothings come in a myriad of colors and are made-to-order

How did I get the message from the Undie-verse, you ask?

Well, you might know I had an old friend in town over the weekend. She’s been busy training to be a doctor and was very behind on her More Cowbell reading. When she asked for the highlights, the Undie Chronicles naturally came up (*if you know what I mean*).

Imagine my surprise when I clicked the link to visit my favorite Etsy knitter and realized she’d come out with a new line of animals!!

You can now ask the sexy man in your life:

Would he, could he booty-shake
…with this trusty KNITTED SNAKE??

Sss-s-s-sexy!….Wait’ll you see the SIDE VIEW

Could he jump into a box
…with this cunning KNITTED FOX?

And would he, could he launch a rocket
…with this sassy CONDOM POCKET?

Ingenious little undies…”sexy” AND safe!

Jenny Note:

I would not, could not booty-shake
if faced with that red knitted snake.
Not in the box with a cunning fox
or in the air with the “safe sex” pair.

They do not flip my “sexy” switch.
They mostly make my eyeballs twitch.

What’s your opinion? Do any of these  knitted lovelies make you want to run for your wallet? Which is your favorite? Do you have any other Mundies or catchy Dr. Seuss-inspired rhymes to share?? Enquiring minds always want to know here at More Cowbell!

Happy Monday 🙂
Jenny