The Undie Chronicles – Episode VI: Man-Style Goes To The Zoo

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles…

You may be unaware that when the Undie-verse speaks we will always  listen.

You might  even have missed:

I’m thinking I might need to set up a glossary page so you’re up to date on ‘Undie-Speak.” For example, did you miss any of the following?

  • Thong underpants – the weapons of mass corruption from Episode 1
  • The #pantypeeps hashtag on Twitter. (Episode 2)
  • The “quick draw” from Thunderwear (Episode 3)
  • The Undie Poll (Episode 4)
  • “Lickies”…Cheekies…G-knits…Panty-structions! (also in Episode 4)

Last, but not least, you might have missed The Undie Chronicles: An Epilogue…”Man-Style,” which serves as the hors d’oevres for today’s Undie Smorgasbord. That post (Episode 5) kicked off a hell of a lot of Christmas shopping amongst the More Cowbell Posse!

Prepare yourselves. Set down the beverage.

Today, in honor or Dr. Seuss’s birthday on March 2nd, the Undie-verse has spoken once more (through a certain Etsy knitter in Lithuania)!

This ingenious creator of Undie Style…the woman who brought us the world famous pachyderm Mundies shown below [portmanteau = “pachymunds”] has put her creative needles to some amazing new use. All photos below are linked.

Pachymunds – these sexy knitted nothings come in a myriad of colors and are made-to-order

How did I get the message from the Undie-verse, you ask?

Well, you might know I had an old friend in town over the weekend. She’s been busy training to be a doctor and was very behind on her More Cowbell reading. When she asked for the highlights, the Undie Chronicles naturally came up (*if you know what I mean*).

Imagine my surprise when I clicked the link to visit my favorite Etsy knitter and realized she’d come out with a new line of animals!!

You can now ask the sexy man in your life:

Would he, could he booty-shake
…with this trusty KNITTED SNAKE??

Sss-s-s-sexy!….Wait’ll you see the SIDE VIEW

Could he jump into a box
…with this cunning KNITTED FOX?

And would he, could he launch a rocket
…with this sassy CONDOM POCKET?

Ingenious little undies…”sexy” AND safe!

Jenny Note:

I would not, could not booty-shake
if faced with that red knitted snake.
Not in the box with a cunning fox
or in the air with the “safe sex” pair.

They do not flip my “sexy” switch.
They mostly make my eyeballs twitch.

What’s your opinion? Do any of these  knitted lovelies make you want to run for your wallet? Which is your favorite? Do you have any other Mundies or catchy Dr. Seuss-inspired rhymes to share?? Enquiring minds always want to know here at More Cowbell!

Happy Monday🙂
Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
This entry was posted in Humor, Undie Chronicles and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

76 Responses to The Undie Chronicles – Episode VI: Man-Style Goes To The Zoo

  1. Jody Moller says:

    Gotta love the elephant. It’s his ears that do it for me. These two lines popped into my head the moment I read your Seuss Poem (which I loved by the way).

    He has a warm place for your junk
    Stuffed down in his enormous trunk

    Jody

    Like

  2. Reetta Raitanen says:

    LOL Those are some of the most hilarious pictures I’ve seen in a long time. Thanks for sharing. I had to Tweet this and put the pictures to my Pinterest board.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Reeta,

      In honor of you and your Pinterest board, I took my Pinterest share button out of the “More” dropdown and added it to the main share bar.🙂

      Mundies MUST be shared, pinned and snickered over. They just must.

      Like

  3. Haha the elephant definitely! But I must say the others are a close second/third/fourth etc😀 Great work!

    Like

  4. K.B. Owen says:

    OMG! Love the snake one. S-s-s-stupendous, LOL. You crack me up, Jenny! When will I learn not to open your posts with my 11-yr-old around…I had to scroll REALLY FAST past those pics, hahaha!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      You open my Monday posts with him next to you?? Crazy lady. More Cowbell Mondays are for hilarity, often of the variety you DON’T want your 11 yr-old to know about.🙂

      Like

  5. Suzan Isik says:

    I would buy them, if only for fantastic gag gifts.

    I love the fox. It’s just… amazing. LOL

    The elephant makes him look a little… *ahem* puny.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I swear she’s got a couple models for these? It just seems to me like the size differs. Maybe it’s like my favorite pants that make my butt look smaller…. Hmm.

      Like

  6. And now the Undie-Chronicles have moved you to poetry! Dr. Seuss would be proud … of your words, maybe not the undies …
    Eyeballs twitching here too!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Oh yes, Patricia. Nothing like a little Dr. Seuss to get the words flowing. One of my go-to writing books is “There’s a Wocket in my Pocket.” (*if you know what I mean*…sorry, couldn’t resist).

      Like

  7. No she didn’t?!?!?! WAHAHAHAAHA!! I LOVE this woman!!! Amazing. Works of ART if you ask me. LOL!!
    My fav still has to be the elephant but the condom pocket!! LOL!! It’s the eyes (wish one was winking)….and the striped end. ADORABLE!
    I want one of each…
    must.send.to.hubby!
    Long live the pantypeeps and the mundies!!!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Oh, but she DID. They are definitely works of art, whether they fit someone’s, er…taste (or not). You sure did send them to Hubby. His poem left me speechless!

      Like

  8. Sherry Isaac says:

    So glad the knitter responsible used her talent for good instead of … hmmm.

    Clever, cute, funny. Check. Sexy? Um, no. But bravo to the confident lads who modelled.

    Like

  9. tomwisk says:

    Watched all links. The drag queen Sr. Myotosis is a hoot. Thunderwear ain’t for me. Don’t own a gun but if I did that’s the last place I’d carry it. The visuals on today’s post are a hoot. You really have to be secure with your junk to wear a snake. Imagine, a girlfriend with a deathly fear of snakes. She’s half asleep. The guy drops trou and there’s Snakey!! She screams and finds a new use for a bedside lamp. I’ll stick with BVDs.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I think the BVDs are always a safe and wise choice! Your comment made me scream with laughter. I’ve been trying to decide for a long time whether Sister Myotis is male or female. It’s good to hear a male vote FROM a male.🙂

      Like

  10. I love a Monday morning IYKWIM, IYKWIM.

    I think if my guy wore these to bed, I’d burst out laughing…

    Like

  11. Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says:

    Love her new styles. She’s really quite creative and I really wanna know who she talked into modeling for her. For example the fox seems to be a little um larger than the condom holder. I would really like to see what the elephant looked like with his trunk up!

    Like

  12. Stacy Green says:

    I’m laughing so hard right now, Jenny. It’s a tie for me between the elephant and the condom pocket. LMFAO. Wonder if these come in different sizes, lol?

    Like

  13. OMG – too funny! And all the straight guys I know would be totally horrified…lol!

    Like

  14. I would have to say all of these are extremely practical in the cold weather states. Wouldn’t want any man’s package shrinking due to cold, now do we?

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      My girlfriend said the same thing! She did wonder why the knitter came up with a fox (as opposed to an alligator or a gar or a bird with a long beak). LMAO!

      Like

  15. My poor straight-laced husband would die of embarrassment if I brought one of those home for him to wear. LOL!

    Like

  16. Sharla Rae says:

    I don’t know where you come up with this stuff but it’s a hoot. Wonder how she hires models?

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LOL, Sharla. I have a twisted mind. What can I say?

      I’m pretty convinced that she’s this little old Lithuanian lady with tons of kids and grandkids and she makes them model.

      Like

  17. Catie Rhodes says:

    My opinion is that whoever knits those underwear has the most tolerant, patient partner in the world. There are few men who would agree not only to wear *that* but also to have their picture taken while wearing it and posted online.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      You totally killed me with this, Catie. I think she’s this tiny lady in Lithuania who sits by the fire knitting and makes her kids and grandkids model. I’m dying to know what she looks like!

      Like

  18. amyshojai says:

    Makes the mind boggle (OUCH!) wondering about the size issue. I mean, nobody wants to be known for their baby elephant, but to trumpet the size of their (ahem) ego.

    You’ve done it again! ROTFL!

    Like

  19. Julie Glover says:

    Laughed all the way down to my socks
    When I spied that knitted fox

    Hilarious, Jenny. LOVED your Seuss poem at the end.

    Like

  20. Lena Corazon says:

    Okay, I am CACKLING over here. The poetry is absolutely inspired. I still have a soft spot for the pachymunds, but the one with the condom pocket is just so, er, practical. Now I need to find some guy friends, so I can give these out as gag presents.

    Like

  21. “They do not flip my “sexy” switch.
    They mostly make my eyeballs twitch.”
    Aaaahahahahahahahahahahahahha!!!!

    Like

  22. No, they don’t make me want to run for my wallet but it was highly entertaining! LOL! Love the Seuss poem, the Undie-Speak! Hilar!!

    Like

  23. Jeanne Ryan says:

    These are a scream! What a great gag gift!

    Like

  24. Jenny, you are just such a naughty, naughty girl. Great post!

    Like

  25. Natalie Hartford's Hubby says:

    I am Hubby
    I am Hubby
    Hubby I am
    That Hubby-I-am!
    Than Hubby-I-am!

    I do not like that Hubby-I-am!
    Do you like Knits and Undies?
    I do not like them, Hubby-I-am.
    I do not like Knits and Undies!

    Would you wear them here or there?

    I would not wear them here or there.
    I would not wear them anywhere.
    I do not like knits and undies.
    I do not like them, Hubby-I-am.

    Would you wear them with a snake?
    Would you wear them with a rake?

    I do not wear them with a snake.
    I do not wear them with a rake.
    I do not wear them here or there.
    I do not wear them anywhere.
    I do not like knits and undies.
    I do not like them, Hubby-I-am.

    Would you wear them with a box?
    Would you wear them with a fox?

    Not with a box.
    Not with a fox.
    Not with a snake.
    Not with a rake.

    I would not wear them here or there.
    I would not wear them anywhere.
    I would not wear knits and undies.
    I do not like them, Hubby-I-am.

    Would you? Could you? Knit a car?
    Eat them! Eat them!
    Here they are.

    I would not, could not, knit a car.

    You may like them.
    You will see.
    You may like them.
    OMG, is that a tree?

    I would not, could not knit a tree.
    Not knit a car! You let me be.

    I do not wear them with a box.
    I do not wear them with a fox.
    I do not wear them with a snake.
    I do not wear them with a rake.
    I do not wear them here or there.
    I do not wear them anywhere.
    I do not wear knits and undies.
    I do not wear them, Hubby-I-am.

    A train! A train!
    A train! A train!
    Could you, would you, knit a train?

    Not a train! Not a tree!
    Not a car! Hubby! Let me be!

    I would not, could not, knit a box.
    I could not, would not, knit a fox.
    I will not wear them with a rake.
    I will not wear them with a snake.
    I will not wear them here or there.
    I will not wear them anywhere.
    I do not wear knits and undies.
    I do not like them, Hubby-I-am.

    Say!
    In the dark?
    Here in the dark!
    Would you, could you, touch it in the dark?

    I would not, could not, touch it in the dark.

    Would you, could you, wear knits in the rain?
    I would not, could not,wear knits in the rain.
    Not in the dark. Not with a train.
    Not with a car. Not with a tree.

    I do not like them, Hubby, you see.
    Not with a snake. Not with a box.
    Not with a rake. Not with a fox.
    I will not wear them here or there.

    I do not like them anywhere!
    You do not like knits and undies?
    I do not like them, Hubby-I-am.

    Could you, would you, knit a goat?
    I would not, could not, knit a goat!

    Would you, could you, knit a boat?
    I could not, would not, knit a boat.

    I will not, will not, knit a goat.
    I will not wear them in the rain.
    I will not wear them with a train.
    Not in the dark! Not with a tree!
    Not with a car! You let me be!

    I do not wear them with a box.
    I do not wear them with a fox.
    I will not wear them with a snake.
    I do not wear them with a rake.
    I do not wear them here or there.
    I do not wear them ANYWHERE!

    I do not wear knits and undies!
    I do not wear them, Hubby-I-am.
    You do not wear them.
    So you say.
    Try them! Try them!
    And you may.
    Try them and you may, I say.
    Hubby!

    If you will let me be,
    I will try them.
    You will see.Say!
    I like knits and undies!
    I do! I like them, Hubby-I-am!
    And I would wear them with a boat.
    And I would wear them with a goat…

    And I will wear them in the rain.
    And in the dark. And with a train.
    And with a car. And with a tree.
    They are so good, so good, you see!

    So I will wear them with a box.
    And I will wear them with a fox.
    And I will wear them with a snake.
    And I will wear them with a rake.
    And I will wear them here and there.
    Say! I will wear them ANYWHERE!

    I do so like knits and undies!
    Thank you!
    Thank you,
    Hubby-I-am!

    Like

  26. Natalie Hartford's Hubby says:

    Natalie says she’s not responsible in any way shape or form for the above posting! LOL!
    Enjoy!

    Like

  27. LOL! Love your tribute verse – Dr. Seuss is surely smiling right now! (And LOL.) Meanwhile, my husband, who saw the pictures from the couch a few feet away, is looking very worried… (“What is THAT?”)

    Like

  28. Jess Witkins says:

    My favorite undie chronicles yet! I love your Dr. Seuss poems to go with it. And I’m glad you had a big red disclaimer warning us to put down the beverage or I’d be covered with red wine. Fabulous find!

    Like

  29. hmcmullin says:

    My husband looked over my shoulder to see what I was giggling about at these and almost gave my screen a coffee shower. He couldn’t imagine being bold (or drunk) enough to wear something like this, and I couldn’t imagine keeping a straight face. Either way, its hard to be romantic when you’re rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Ah, but you can imagine it! (And that’s all that matters.)

      Actually, I’d start rolling around hysterically laughing too, which is the whole point. Did you show him Sister Myotis and her Christian Panties??

      Like

  30. OMG, the undies are baaaaaaaccccckkkkkkk! Jenny, you made my day with the return of the Undie Chronicles. I hope you consider making this into your regular monthly (I won’t ask for weekly) post, eh?

    I’m with Patricia – Dr. Seuss would be proud of your words, but who knows, maybe he would fancy the art of knitting too. BTW, I’m a knitter and, let me tell you, these wouldn’t be easy to make! The woman has an irrefutable talent!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      A monthly feature, huh? I’ll have to see if I can work that out. I do enjoy my funny undies. And I agree, this woman is loaded with talent and a quirky sense of humor (Dear God, I hope she’s not serious…).

      Like

  31. Dang! Now I want to get these again for my son! That sssssnake is just to adorable, but I still love the elephant. The condom one freaks me out ~ I don’t need eyes looking at me.

    After Hubby’s fabulous contribution, I got nothing. He’s just too darn awesome.

    Like

  32. Fabio Bueno says:

    Jenny and Natalie’s Hubby know their Seuss! A nice homage, and on the week of his birthday.
    Jenny, I’m so glad that you posted this _after_ Valentine’s Day… Wonder Wife has a strange sense of humor.🙂
    It’s really close, but the elephant is the most outrageous one – the winner by a nose.

    Like

  33. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow. Just when I thought I’d seen it all!!!

    Like

  34. Oh my gosh, Jenny, this is so flippin’ funny. Laughed my butt off. I needed that today🙂

    Like

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