Welcome back to Risky Baby Business, our Saturday series here at More Cowbell! If you’re new over here, the previous posts in this series can be found here.
Those of you who are regular readers know that the road to pregnancy wasn’t a flowery walk in the park for me. Still, with all that angst, I look back and realize that there were a ton of funny things about the entire process.
You try not to be, but you know you’re dealing with some potentially life and death issues. It’s hard not to go over the top with things like diet and exercise.
One of the strangest things I worried about came from a story one of my BFF’s told me. She’s a great listener so people often tell her ALL their business. She came to me with a pregnancy story that had me on the floor with laughter, even while it scared the bejeezus out of me.
It all started when I read Jenna McCarthy’s Belly Laughs and developed a new worry.
She described her swollen pregnant va-jj as “two blue twinkies cuddling under really bad carpeting.” Certainly, I laughed so hard I tinkled, but I also started nagging my husband to check the aforementioned area every few days to make sure nothing had turned blue.
I was worried about it a very vague sense until my BFF shared the Story of the Lunchtime Stairs. Apparently, a pregnant lady she worked with had an orgasm everytime she climbed stairs. Literally.
I’m sure her husband thought he’d hit the motherlode, but can you imagine how embarrassing this was?
No one wants to be moaning on their way back from lunch with their co-workers (I’m just sayin’). I spent the early part of my pregnancy worrying about how things were looking down in the Va-jj Department, and whether or not my nether-regions were swelling up. Plus I was completely paranoid about stairs.
Did you have irrrational worries when you were pregnant? Things that you were embarrassed about (like the outrageous number of burps that came out of your esophagus)? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things at More Cowbell!