5 Things That Eased My Mind During The Climb Up “Baby Mountain”

Welcome back to Risky Baby Business, our Saturday series here at More Cowbell! If you’re new over here, the previous posts in this series can be found here.

Those of you who are regular readers know that the road to pregnancy was a rocky one for me. We tried and we failed. Due to my blood clotting disorder and history of blood clots, it was not recommended that I undergo fertility treatments. We were told that my eggs were 6% viable and that we needed to give up our baby dreams. After lots of tears, we did.

A few months after we’d digested all this crappy news and climbed off Baby Mountain, I gave notice at my day job. As I told my husband, “If I can’t birth babies, I’m going to stop working a job I hate and birth books instead.” We started making new plans and new dreams.

One month later, I was pregnant.

Does this mean that if you give up, the baby will just arrive in your womb? That’s not what I’m saying at all. Trust me, I know Baby Girl is here by crazy luck and God’s grace. But relaxing sure doesn’t hurt when the climb up Baby Mountain is an arduous one.

As I’ve said before, it’s easy to get consumed and, well, a little crazy when the baby-making is not going well. I wrote a post on getting pregnant a while back for those of you where are interested (the comments were AMAZING).

Now that you know a bit about my journey, you’ll understand why some of the 5 Things That Eased My Mind might be out of the norm. Here they are, in no particular order:

1. The Conception Chronicles: The Uncensored Truth About Sex, Love & Marriage When You’re Trying to Get Pregnant
These gals don’t mess around (and they are funny as hell). They talk about a touchy subject and tell it like it is. I have friends and relatives who have struggled for years to get pregnant without success. Either they can’t conceive or they conceive and lose their babies. It’s a heartbreaking, lonely journey and this book does the best job I’ve EVER seen at addressing the feelings associated with this. If Baby Mountain is breaking your spirit, or that of someone close to you, please get this book.

2. Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth
Jenny McCarthy is not who I thought I’d ever buy a book from, much less enjoy it. (As someone who used to work with autistic kids, her other books made me terribly unhappy.) However, when you’re stuck with a body that is out of control for 9+ months, it’s awesome to read about someone else who’s gone through it. Especially someone who’s willing to be crass about it.

I do have to confess that when I read her description of her swollen pregnant va-jj (which she described as “two blue twinkies cuddling under really bad carpeting”) I laughed so hard I tinkled AND I started nagging my husband to check the aforementioned area every few days to make sure nothing had turned blue.

3. What To Expect When You’re Expecting
This is the wonderful book that serves as every pregnant woman’s Bible.  My husband and I both read large portions of this book and loved it. However, it seemed there were hundreds of times I looked up something that I was DYING to know, only to read “unless you have a high-risk pregnancy” at the end of the topic.

Were they right to say it? Yes.
Is it one of the main reasons why I’m writing a memoir about high-worry pregnancy? Yes.

If you are in the midst of a high-risk pregnancy, shop around for a wonderful high-risk OB. Your regular OB and the other pregnant women you know will talk your ear off about the local options. Mine was Dr. Tamerou Asrat, and we’d have considered named our baby after him if we’d had a boy – he was that awesome. He’s recently left Hoag Hospital in Southern California and moved to Santa Clara’s Kaiser Permanente. Lucky them.

4. Baby-Gaga.com
I spent a ton of time in the Baby Gaga calendar getting the week-by-week of pregnancy details. I could read it on my phone and I had the added benefit of The Sarcastic Journalist who has an article for each week of your pregnancy journey. We weren’t in the clear to really get excited about Baby Girl until about the 20 week mark so the sarcasm actually helped keep me going.

5. Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving 20% to 50% on baby furniture, gear, clothes, toys, maternity wear and much, much more!
To people like us who had to wait until the 32 week mark to buy any baby stuff, this book was a godsend. Why did we wait so long? Factor V women like me routinely miscarry well into the second and even third trimester. I knew I’d be wrecked if I lost the baby, but that I’d lose my mind if I had to give away a bunch of baby items. We brought nothing baby-like into our house until we’d passed the 32 week mark and at that point, I wanted to save some money while shopping. This book is what you need to be able to do that easily.

We also have another book by this the “Baby Bargains” author called Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice For Your Baby’s First Year. Fantastic book for the first time parent!

Other websites I visited often for information were:

Did you use any of these resources during your pregnancy? Are there others you would recommend? We’d love to hear about your experience with “Baby Mountain,” even if it was from the sidelines.


About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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18 Responses to 5 Things That Eased My Mind During The Climb Up “Baby Mountain”

  1. Wow – what a fun post to read. My baby days are long gone. There is so much new fangled stuff out there these days for mommies-to-be and babies, and mommies with babies. 😀
    Great post, Jenny.


  2. subtlekate says:

    With one behind me and hopefully more to come ( who knows) this was wonderful to read. Congratulations on your success, that is a sweet sweet thing.


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Congratulations, Kate! That’s awesome. We would have loved to have 2+ but we’re pretty delighted with Baby Girl. You’d probably enjoy some of the other posts about what rocked my world during pregnancy and when the baby came. 🙂


  3. Brinda Berry says:

    My baby days were so long ago. Book #3 looks very familiar. Is it possible that the book was around in MY baby days?


  4. I’m a worrier by nature, and the pregnancy hormones really did a trick on me for my second child even though everything was fine. I wish I had had some of these resources to absorb, because laughter really does help pretty much anything. I’m glad you had baby success. I have several friends and a couple acquaintences who have had fertility problems. It is really difficult to watch people who want children and would be great parents not be able to have them, when there’s others that shouldn’t have kids that are baby-making machines.


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Lara, I’m so sorry to hear you had hormonal hell. I had it after she was born and it was awful. We feel very blessed.

      I understand completely wondering why some schlub could have sex in an alley and get twins and I couldn’t even get one. It’s a common feeling among infertile women.


  5. I’ve heard numerous stories of women who’ve stopped stressing over the inability to conceive, shortly before becoming pregnant. Thanks for sharing your story so to help and inspire others. Worth bookmarking and passing on for sure!


  6. Marcia says:

    I’m another who stopped stressing and became pregnant. My husband wanted to be child-free for several years before having children, so my daughter was born in our 6th yr of marriage. I was quite anxious for a 2nd child when my daughter was about 18 mos. We tried for a long time and I got more and more anxious. My Dr recommended taking my temp (pain in the neck), having sex more frequently (no prob there), did tests on both of us,etc. After 5 yrs of trying for a 2nd baby, we began looking into adopting an asian child but found we couldn’t afford it. I was finally resigned to the fact my daughter would be an only child. A couple of months later, settling in with the twist life had handed me, I found I was pregnant. I was instantly a combo of “Yay! My dream came true!” and “Darn, I was just getting used to the idea of having only one.” I wouldn’t go back and give up my son for anything in the world, but I usually say, “If my son had been born first, he’d be an only child.” Now that he’s grown to the ripe old age of 24, he’s wonderful. On a more serious note, I was blessed that he was born healthy, as I had several friends having babies at 35+ who were born with a birth defect.


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Marcia, I hear that so much (even from other readers on this blog) that the subsequent babies do NOT come easy. You are blessed – the complications over 38 years old are more than a little frightening. I had Baby Girl at 41 so I completely get it.

      And you do start planning a different life when you climb off Baby Mountain. I was a mixture of happy, irritated, terrified and pissed off when I found out I was pregnant. And I think they were all about equal. The happy and terrified won out pretty quickly, but it’s still the way you feel after you’ve truly given up.


  7. Jenny, your last comment mirrors my reaction exactly. I was one month out from being told by a third doctor that I was infertile when I found out I was pregnant. The family physician who told me was so taken aback by my reaction, he asked if it was happy news. How could I explain that I’d finally come to accept my infertility, and was knocked off my pins by his news? He actually had to do an ultrasound before I believed him. I tell both my “surprise” babies (who are 20 and 18) that being surprises doesn’t mean I didn’t want them, just that I’d given up.


  8. StoriesAndSweetPotatoes says:

    I enjoy the phrase “Baby Bargains” because you can’t be quite sure about what it refers to…


  9. Jenny, I fully expect your book to be added to that list when it comes out – and maybe even replace some of the ones already on it. You’re awesome.


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