Confessions of a Cowbellicious Change Pansy…

Photo from OnePeacefulword.wordpress.com

This post was originally for Thoughty Thursday but I was busy having Lasik surgery on my left eye yesterday and being sacked out on Xanax. I was a little afraid to answer comments in that state…I’d have likely promised y’all anything.🙂

I’ve been deeply surprised at how much I’ve been angsting about this surgery. I mean, people do it all the time. Right? Right.

At the beginning of this road, I was actually annoyed that I had to get my eyes done on different dates (doing the right eye on Jan 12th) but now I’m so thankful that I’ll have a “backup eye” in case any of my worries pan out.

What sort of worries?

I’m a WRITER. I can imagine all sorts of stuff, but here’s a summary of the biggies:

What if something goes wrong?
What if I lose my entire eyeball?
What if I go blind in that eye?
What if an earthquake hits at the precise moment my eyeball is being lasered? 

What if this new Ziemer laser isn’t so special after all??

I tell you, a writer’s imagination is a curse sometimes… However, what this angst is really about is CHANGE.

Here I pride myself on embracing change and it turns out I’m kind of conditional about the kinds of changes I embrace. The changes on the “unapproved list” just scare the crap out of me. I’m a CHANGE PANSY. *hangs head*

So, what will ACTUALLY change with this surgery?

  • The pansy in me is shouting, “Everything!” but it’s the basic things that’ll freak me.
  • I’ve worn classes or contacts since the 3rd grade – I can’t even fathom opening my eyes and seeing the world clearly each morning.
  • I’ll clearly see my daughter and husband first thing every day…I’ll probably cry the first time  and I’m sure group hugs will be in order.
  • Currently, I can’t have a discussion without my glasses. Literally.
    On numerous occasions I’ve told my husband, “Can you hold on to that (very important) point a moment? I need to go get my glasses.” No vision, no fighting discussing. That’s just the way it is. (Does anyone else feel crippled in a fight without their glasses?)
  • No more contact solution or dicey moments when cat or dog hair sneaks underneath the contact, making my eye water uncontrollably.
  • No more juggling how to pack and transport all the eyewear and contacts on vacation.
  • No more hiding tired mommy eyes behind glasses when it’s been a long night.
  • Plus my Disaster Recovery Hubby is enthralled that I can now flee earthquakes, tsunamis and the end of the world without stopping to find my glasses.

*******************

Holy Cowbell! We’re post-surgery and I am standing behind Hubby, calling the plays on getting this post up, and I’m not BLIND! I’ve been cleared for the computer (with my new 20/15 left eye) and plan to come romp in the comment section with y’all. Everyone congratulate Hubby on posting his first blog. He’s a rockstar!

Have any of you had life-changing surgery? Were you a nervous wreck going in? Was it difficult depending on others to help you through the simplest of daily tasks? Enquiring minds always want to know here at More Holy Cowbell!

Have a wonderful holiday! Monday’s post is already cracking me up…can’t wait to see how you like it.🙂

Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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39 Responses to Confessions of a Cowbellicious Change Pansy…

  1. showard76 says:

    I hate to add to your worries but my fiance’s best mate paid a fortune for laser eye surgery just over 6 years ago, at first it was great, but after 5 years it ‘wore off’ now he has to wear stronger prescription glasses than before the surgery and his eyesight is much worse. Hopefully the technique has improved since he had it done and lasts longer, but I don’t think it is ‘permanent’ even if it is better now:/

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Sharon, I had to sneak on to answer this comment – I have a lifetime guarantee. If things start migrating the bad direction, they’ll give me a touch-up for free.🙂

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  2. Yay, Jenny’s husband on his first post! Yay, Jenny, for the first step toward vision freedom!

    My instance of life-changing surgery was when I was 26. After 13 years of what my father calls “female problems,” I was diagnosed with endometriosis and fibroids. The surgeon did an exploratory laparoscopy, said, “OMG,” and closed me up immediately, scheduling me for major surgery in three weeks. He could not guarantee that I would come out of the major surgery with any, um, “female parts” left. I went into surgery facing the real probability of a total hysterectomy at 26; which was a sobering, scary thought. As it turned out, he managed to keep parts of all the important parts; I had severely compromised fertility, but at least I had some.

    For a writer, any threat to the eyes hits us right between the eyes (ha, I’m so funny!); the threat to who we define ourselves to be is so scary. Brava to you for taking the step to break free of glasses and contacts–I’ve thought about it, but am too much of a wimp. Maybe you will be my role model!

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Elizabeth, this is exactly right: For a writer, any threat to the eyes hits us right between the eyes. That was the biggest fear for me. And thank god you stopped having pain at 26, even though it meant less fertility. If I remember right, you DID get a baby or two out of the deal so God was looking out for you.🙂

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  3. My stepdaughter had Lasik surgery and was free! of glasses for the first time since grade school. That was fifteen (?) years ago and she sees fine without those coke bottle bottoms masquerading as eye wear.

    Yea for Keyboard Hubby! I’ve been on his side of the caregiver/assistant recovery process. When hubby had knee replacement surgery. Both of them. Several years apart. I had the moronic sense to provide him with a bell so he could ring it when he needed something. AMAZING! ANNOYING! DISGUSTING! How often a man needs to use his hospital-take-with “urinal.” I did not curtail his fluid intake. Much.

    MILK THIS THING, Jenny! Put that Cowbell to good use.

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  4. Laura Drake says:

    YAY Hubby! Yay, Jenny! I wish you tons of memory-giving sight for zillions of years!

    I don’t angst about surgery — I’ve had so much of it. BUT. I have to admit that I don’t get the “voluntary” in voluntary surgery…I’ve never had a choice about it.

    But if I had your eye issues? Hmmm, might consider it.

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Yep, blind as a bat over here. I’ve wanted to get this surgery for at least 15 years but I never could get up the nerve to do it before I had a second income in the house. And I’ve been married almost five years so it really did take some cojones to say, “Sure, Mr. Eye Surgeon…slice me on open.”

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  5. Marcia says:

    Congratulations, Mr Cowbell on a job well done!
    Glad you are doing well after your surgery, Jenny. the only downside I’ve heard about this surgery is that you may still need reading glasses. My former boss did. So you might find you need them at the computer but nowhere else. Not so bad, eh?
    I think most any surgeery is life-changing and frightening. I’ve had 2 C-Sections which had awesome outcomes and gall bladder surgery during which they also removed my appendix. The out come of that was no more pain! I was terrified before the GB surgery, but everything went well.
    Enjoy your clearer vision…what a joy it will be for you! Merry Christmas!

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I expect the reading glasses part since I need them now when I’m wearing contacts. It’s still worth it to me to be able to see full time. I had several people tell me to get the monovision (one eye sees far and the other sees close) but 30% of people get headaches with that and I just KNOW I’d be one of them!

      I’ve heard from my three pals who had their gallbladder out that they feel SO much better afterward. I agree on surgery being nothing to take lightly.

      Merry Christmas to you too!!!

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  6. Congrats to hubby for his first blog. At 60, I had Lazik surgery. Best thing I ever did. I love waking up and being able to see. I have to wear glasses to read (unless I have a huge font on kindle and don;t I love that option?) and for the computer, but I buy them anywhere (the dollar store) because I constantly lose them.

    it is wonderful to go swimming with my grandchildren and be able to see without spots and streaks. it is a gift to wear regular sunglasses. it is a treat to watch tv.

    congratulations for your bravery. it’s worth it.

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  7. sapper06 says:

    Well Sis now you can just roll out of the fart sack and hit the ground running! Sweet! The only people who like change are wet babies, the rest of us hate it!

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  8. Woot woot – congrats HUBBY for posting your first blog and YEAHHH Jenny for facing your fears and getting Lasik. Anyone that I know who’s had it done, LOVES it and raves about it. Sooo happy for you (and a tiny bit jealous although the thought of the surgery scares the pants off me as well)!!!
    I have had two surgeries in my life and sadly, I’ve come to realize that I cannot stomach ANY kind of pain relieving narcotic. Now, this is good in the sense that I’ll never become an addict of morphine, demerol, oxycontin, or dilaudid because I just barf them up but…it’s been no so great on the pain relief side. There’s only so much that Tylenol and Advil can do when you are nursing stitches and missing organs. LOL!

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LOL, Nat…I have several friends like you where narcotics are just not an option. What they did for this yesterday was some Xanax to calm me down and help me sleep the day away and numbing drops for the eye for them to be able to touch it and do their deal. I’m excited with eye number 1…I think I’m going to lose my mind when I can see out of both.

      Merry Christmas to me, eh??!!

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  9. amyshojai says:

    I had it done 15 years ago–LOVE LOVE LOVE it as I’d worn glasses since 2nd grade. Now I will say that I had to do a “touch up” on one eye about 4-5 years later and that was worse than the first surgery. Now I’m back to wearing glasses just because I’m not a fan of the surgery (it stretched my eyelids all to hell and gone) but am fan of the results. Who knows, maybe I’ll go back for another touch up at some point!

    You will love it. However, one of the major down-sizes to seeing better was that I noticed all the cobwebs and dust bunnies that before were invisible. Bummer.

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LMAO, Amy! I’ve been walking around my house picking up dustbunnies for the last twenty minutes. I’m trying not to get too close because I don’t want to have an allergy attack in my new fancy eye, but DANG this house is dirtier than I thought it was…

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  10. Stacy Green says:

    Congrats, Jenny (and to hubby for his first blog)! I would love to have Lasik. My eyes are terrible and like Amy, I’ve worn glasses since I was a child. I’ve always been afraid my eyes would continue to change and the surgery would end up being a waste.

    Thankfully the only surgery I had was when I was two (tonsils) so I don’t have any stories to share. Hope things continue to go smoothly for you, and have a great holiday!

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I understand, Stacy. I’ll confess to being scared right out of my panties before the surgery. It’s a good thing they give you Xanax or I might’ve bolted. Still, it only took 10 minutes plus a day of sleeping and my vision in that eye is incredible.

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  11. HI – Congrats on being able to see! I did Lasik over 10 years ago and it was the best thing I did. My vision has just started to fade a bit. I do have glasses only for night driving in strange places (like when I need to find a new street or address) but the Dr. said that I’d still be considered 20/20 for the drivers’ test. It’s amazing being able to wake up and see everything clearly. I think that’s the best part.

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  12. Emma Burcart says:

    You will be so happy with your results! I had lasik a few years ago and now I almost can’t remember what it was like not to see. I can wake up in the morning, look out the window, and see the view. It’s not just blurs of color. And the alarm clock, I can read it from across the room. It changed my life. Congratulations!

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Thanks for stopping in with your pom-poms, Emma! I went to get checked this morning and my left eye sees 20/15 instead of 20/250 + major astigmatism. And with the right eye still in full crappy sight mode, the difference is astonishing.

      Y’all will probably hear me screaming with joy come mid-January when the other eye gets done.🙂

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  13. Julie Glover says:

    I’m now up to three pairs of glasses which I switch off – my prescription sunglasses for distance, my regular distance glasses, and my reading glasses. Fun, huh? The thing is that most of the time, I don’t need glasses; so I’m not ready to do anything drastic yet, but I do spend a lot of time wandering around my house and saying, “Where are my ____ glasses?”

    Hope the Lasik fixes everything up! Best wishes for your recovery.

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I know your pain, Julie. It’s your normal, so it doesn’t feel like anything out of the ordinary, but I know I’m going to be stunned at how much less time and money I spend on eye-related things.

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  14. Been in glasses since 2nd grade…”Oh Mum, the trees have LEAVES!”…yep, that really was my response walking out of the office with my first pair of glasses. Moved into contacts when my astigmatism threatened to all but blind me. I’ve thought about having lasik done but can’t stand the idea of someone working on my eyes. :shudder: Then I heard a number of people have to have it redone in 10 years or so. :double shudder: I’m with you on the contact issues added to the wind here in Vegas…ugh…quite honestly, I’m ready for good ol’ fashioned glasses, LOL.

    Hope you’re happy with the results! (Oh, and good job to hubby.)

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LOL, Raelyn…that’s exactly what i said to my mom when I got my first pair of glasses. You KNOW the trees have leaves but you’ve just never seen them from the car before. I’m happy with eye #1 but I’ll give an update after eye #2.🙂

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  15. Congrats on your surgery! How exciting to be able to see clearly without your glasses🙂 At the moment I only wear glasses when I’m driving, but admit I’ve thought about the laser surgery…but am a chicken🙂

    Maybe when I have to wear glasses all the time I’ll reconsider…but for now I kind of like the extra accessory of different glasses for different moods…I guess I’m a glasses fashionista….lol

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I hear you, Christine! I do love a pretty pair of glasses but my eyes are/were BAD…even with one eye fixed, I can’t believe the freedom. I can’t wait to get eye #2 done next month.🙂

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  16. Everyone I know who has had the surgery loves it, Jenny. Since I avoid surgery, I’ve never had to worry about it.🙂

    Wishing you and your family a wonderful holiday season, Jenny!

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  17. My husband got lasik two years ago now, and he still says it was one of the best decisions ever. And watching him rediscover the world in new clarity after his eyes healed was a really fun experience for me🙂

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  18. Surgeries scare the heck out of me but if I had to wear glasses or/and contacts all the time I would have gone for Lasik, no matter what. I only wear glasses for reading and computer work but I can see okay without them.

    I’ve been trying to convince my husband for years to do Lasik, but without any success, sigh. He’s been wearing glasses since childhood.

    Good luck with your next surgery! I’ll keep my fingers crossed on the 12th🙂

    Congrats to your hubby on his first post, yippee!

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  19. Congrats Jenny! Obviously I’m glad it worked out🙂 but more than that, I’m jealous. I’m -11 in each eye and had glasses/contacts all my life (and I hate them both). I looked into laser surgery, but my cornea are too thin. Great Christmas present!

    Cheers!

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Oh, Nigel! To want it and be unable to have it…that SUCKS. I’d be jealous too but they do get all wiggy about corneal thickness. Have you checked since the Ziemer laser came out to determine if that changes things for you? Cheers and Merry Christmas to you!

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  20. hawleywood40 says:

    Happy holidays, Jenny! I have never gone through life-changing surgery like this, but I can only imagine the combination of excitement and yes, fear of change. I completely and totally get that. It reminds me of me as a writer – I dream of a day-job and financial-worry-free life because I’ve made it as a novelist, but I just KNOW part of me has this evil streak of “but … but … what would we DO if we didn’t have the excuse of having to work too much to do that or we haven’t got the money to do this.” We humans are weird critters that way, aren’t we? I hope your new vision opens up wonderful freedoms, discoveries and conveniences for you! So glad to have gotten to know each other through LLC this year!

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  21. What a crack up you are. I’m like that as well… I’ll imagine the worst possible scenarios and then I can’t get them out of my head. It could all totally happen, I’m not crazy! But I love change. Adore it and embrace it with all my being. Everything in life is an adventure!

    Glad it all worked out and you won’t be blind anymore. That would suck.

    Happy Christmas!!

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