Panty-Gate: The “Undie Chronicles” Continue with…Thunderwear!

Happy Monday, everybody! I’m sure you can tell from the title of this post…it’s been busy in the Undie-verse this week.

To the left is the front of an American Greetings card my honey got me over the weekend. Inside it says, “I just wanted to ‘crack’ you up today.” I LOVE IT. (Pay special attention to the footwear of the ladies speaking.)

Isn’t it nice when the important people in your life participate with your blog?? Wait till we discuss Thunderwear at the end of this post…

To pick up where we left off last week, let’s do a quick review of The “Undie Chronicles” so far:

• 1st Edition – Christian Panties
• 2nd Edition – Ode to Garter String Knickers
• 3rd Edition – this post…Thunderwear

After the 2nd Edition of the Undie Chronicles, tweets started flying at warp speed. In fact, Panty-Gate started with a simple little tweet from Barbara McDowell, to which I replied…

Best RT of the day! @BMcDowellOH: What’s in your pants? RT @jhansenwrites: An Ode To Garter-String Knickers! http://wp.me/p1sxbT-tI #MyWANA

Barbara responded: @jhansenwrites Heh, heh, heh. Thanks Jenny. I’m still side-eyeing my cotton undies. #boring

Side Note #1: The 140 character limitation prevented me from expounding on the importance of nice roomy cotton undies. You know, we can’t be all sexy ALL of the time. Sometime’s we’ve just got to relax a bit. And sometimes we just have to raise hell.

So what I said was: @BMcDowellOH -I heard a rumor from @Angela_Peart, who got it from @NatalieHartford that @kbowenwriter was KNITTING you a g-string. #PassItOn

Side Note #2: The same day I posted about my yearning for Marks & Spencer garter-string knickers, Kathy Owen posted this about Penguin Sweaters. Hence, the knitting comments.

So, Barbara says: @jhansenwrites Oh no! *eyes wide* considering knitted G-string. @Angela_Peart @NatalieHartford @kbowenwriter

And I respond: @BMcDowellOH – Oh, YES! I’m seeing a new craze… @Angela_Peart @NatalieHartford @kbowenwriter

Natalie Hartford chimed in: If they are good enough for the penguins, they are good enough for me!

Kathy Owen: You guys kill me. 🙂 What yarn ya want, Jen? Worsted? Acrylic? or Fun Fur?

My feverish brain started to whirl…I had CHOICES!! There was a unanimous vote for the fun fur (because hello? Who wants scratchy yarn next to their hoohah?)

Then, Kathy impressed us all with THIS find:

Natalie Hartford says: O.M.G. THEY ARE FAB!! LOL!!!! I wonder if they come in hot pink? (And Kathy assures her that she can have pink if she wants.)

Natalie begins dreaming out loud about pink, glittery, Bedazzled yarn g-strings. (I really think she’s forgotten about the SCRATCH FACTOR at this point. Hello? Spangles and beads on your “bird?” Not so much…) Natalie vows to take up knitting in her spare time.

Kathy comments: Yep, goin’ tribal with pink fun fur, lol.

Barbara ponders: Maybe I can whip something up as part of my ROW80 crochet goals.

Jenny Side Note #3: ROW80 has crochet goals?? Dang.

We all agree this would be an impressive addition to our crowded ROW80 dance cards.

Angela Peart jumps in the fray: And there would be plenty left to knit Baby Girl a matching cap, lol. (Of course, this was Kathy’s orginal idea…great minds think alike!)

By Wednesday morning, #pantypeeps was born (thanks, Kathy!). Click here if you care to be privy to the original conversation. I warn you, we were killing ourselves.

Of all the hashtags I thought I’d associate with on Twitter, #pantypeeps was one I never imagined. I kinda like it…don’t you? It’s sassy and fun, with a large dash of ridiculous humor. These gals have been making me laugh all week with the various iterations they thought up.  Besides the original #pantypeeps, they came up with gems like #pantypeeps4ever and #pantypeeps4jesus (referencing Christian Panties).

But what does this have to do with Thunderwear?

Well, last Monday (in the 2nd Edition of Panty-Gate) I mentioned the Thunderwear my honey is lusting after. Some of the More Cowbell posse had me in stitches because they thought Thunderwear referenced those bottom-of-the-drawer undies that have seen better days. *clutching sides giggling all over again*

Thunderwear is actually a concealed carry gun holster that fits over the top of a dude’s “junk.” Swear.

When I was writing last week’s post on g-strings and asked my guy what kind of underwear would get him excited, he answered “Thunderwear.”

Of course I had to look it up to figure out what he was talking about.

Imagine this INSIDE the pants, shorts, etc. Does this look cozy to you?

Are you seeing what I’m seeing? Cause I’m seeing a gun aiming right at my man’s family jewels.

When I mentioned this to my husband, he said, “You know, technically we’re done having kids so they can’t be called ‘the family jewels’ anymore.”

Me: Okay fine, we’ll just call them “MY jewels,” and agree that I’d like to keep you from shooting them OFF.

Hubby: You don’t actually aim at your junk. You position the gun at 11 o’clock. (This is accompanied by him pointing, showing me that his belt buckle is at 6 o’clock and his jewels were at high noon.) If in doubt, be sure to reference the photo.

Me: Oh, so you can accidentally shoot yourself in the femoral artery and die in 10 minutes? Yeah, I’m really embracing this Thunderwear idea.

Hubby: I’ve never heard of anyone shooting their rocks off, but it does give a whole new meaning to “blow job,” doesn’t it?

Me: *cracking up* Good one, Honey. You are sooooo bloggable.

Needless to say, he’s not lusting after Thunderwear after our discussion about shooting off the junk. He likes them jewels and so do I. Enough said.

In case, you’d like to see Thunderwear in action, I’ve included two short videos below. The first one shows you what a Thunderwear draw looks like (and I laugh every time I watch it).

The second one really kills me because the guy is SO SERIOUS. Plus he says, “If you know what I mean” in the perfect spot in the video.

So what cracked you up this weekend? What’s the funniest hashtag you’ve seen lately? And, what’s the oddest OMG-I-Want-That item you’ve ever seen in a significant other? Come on…you can tell us! Enquiring minds always want to know here at More Cowbell.

Jenny