Winners of the Dirty Fighting Contest – Part 1

The readers here on More Cowbell ROCK! You all sent me the best entries!!! Tiffany helped pick the winners and break a four-way tie for the 3rd place slot.

A few weeks back, I took the names off all the entries and sent them on over to Naked Editor for a gander.

Note: Did you notice that “chicken word?” That’s my nod to yesterday’s post on the crazy habits of chickens. (Still getting over the “gang bang” thing!)

Anyway, Naked Editor (Tiffany Lawson Inman) gawked in amazement at your Dirty Fighting and writing prowess and made the final decision.

THEN…
There was a really awful moment in Colorado yesterday evening. It involved a flash drive and a non-saving moment of file transferring HELL. Rather than make you wait, I’m dividing this post into two parts:

Part 1 – An announcement of the three winners with my summary of the Dirty Fighting technique they used.🙂 Click here to refresh yourself on all 23 techniques.

Part 2 – Tiffany’s fine-tooth analysis of how to pump up the action in the three winning entries will be posted on Thursday.

Thank you to everyone who entered. You humbled me with your talent. Without further ado…

The Top 3 Dirty Fights!

Gloria Richard – 153 words

Dirty Fighting Techniques used: Labeling, Using Sarcasm…I could make an argument for Escalating as well. Great job, Gloria!

Molly’s stiff posture, mumbled self-talk, and fist-to-splayed-hand reps screamed dread.

Greed trumped dread. She pulled the ring from the corpse.

Jake crossed the room and stopped, blocking her path to the door.

Molly turned. “What are you doing here?”

“Witnessing a felony?”

“Oh, that’s rich—a virtuous stalker. A trespassing, lying, Oreo-snitching, lecherous stalker.”

“Give me the ring.”

“What ring?”

Jake lifted her by her waist, turned, and plunked her butt on a pool table. He moved between her legs—keeping his home plate clear of her knee’s strike zone.

Molly glared, glanced down. When her gaze returned to his face, her lips parted. He felt her foot caress his leg, inching upward. She tilted her head up, exposing the soft curve below her ear.

He closed his eyes, groaned. It was hard not to. Everything was hard.

Jake opened his eyes and witnessed her pop the ring into her mouth and swallow.

How can you not love an entry that ends on the word “swallow???” I do think this scene would be more powerful without the first sentence, but I’ll leave those final edits to Gloria. (I’d have started with “Greed trumped dread.”)

For more Gloria, go visit her blog at http://gloriarichard.wordpress.com/.

Laura Drake – 149 Words

Dirty Fighting Techniques used: Brown-Bagging, Crucializing, Escalating, Pulling Rank, Playing the Martyr. I could argue for Labeling as well.

“You didn’t cut the grass. Again.” She looked down her nose as if I were something brown. And odorific.

“Jesus, Jess, why don’t you come out with what’s really bugging you?” If eye-rolling and hair flipping were an Olympic sport, Jess’d be golden.

“I wouldn’t expect a guy who hasn’t worked in a year to understand how a hard it is, on your feet, doing hair all day.”

“Oh yeah, my writing doesn’t count. I’m trying to make a difference in the world, Jess. I hardly think listening to the housewives of Orange County bitch –”

Her eyes narrowed to slits of glittering hatred. “Get. Out.” She pointed a carmine talon at the door. “Go play starving artist somewhere else.”

I hit the door and kept going. “You’ll be sorry when I’m famous.”

But not as sorry when she saw the candlelit dinner on the dining room table.

More of Laura’s writing can be found at Writers In The Storm.

Lena Corazon (aka Jamila Jamison) – 151 Words

Dirty Fighting Techniques used: Labeling, Cross-Complaining, Personalizing. I could also make a good argument for Self-Righteousness.🙂

“The killer’s been sending you warnings?” Adam’s face was thunderous. “Tempest, when were you planning to tell me?”

Her shoulders tensed. “It’s none of your business.”

“The hell it is. Here I am, risking my badge to catch the man who’s after you, and you’re withholding vital information. Are you crazy?”

“Listen, I never asked for your help. You marched in here, full of talk about honor and justice and your bullshit conscience. This isn’t your fight.”

“Women are being killed on my watch!”

“And I’m the one who’s in danger, not you. I’ve been in this hellhole for three years. Don’t try to tell me what’s at stake.”

“I swore to protect you —”

“You’re nothing but a damned cop. You’ll never understand what we go through.” Her voice dripped with contempt. “You’re part of the problem.”

He recoiled, stung. “You said you trusted me.”

“Not anymore, Adam. We’re finished.”

For more of Lena’s writing go to http://lenacorazon.com/.

As I said before, the final three entries were picked by CONTEST JUDGE, Tiffany Lawson Inman – NakedEditor.

Tiffany is none other than Margie Lawson’s daughter! I’m here to tell you she’s got just as much energy revving her jets as our beloved Margie. Maybe even a tiny bit more. For the naked truth about our esteemed contest judge, click here.

In Part 2 of this post, Tiffany will take the above three entries and do an on-screen edit of how to give them even more punch. It’s awesome…I can’t wait for you to see it.

The GRAND PRIZE for all three of these winners is:

Last but not least, don’t forget that between now and September, anyone who comments or subscribes to More Cowbell gets their name in the hat for one of my two Life List Club Milestone prizes (that would be an interview here or a guest post on their site). Plus, if you’re a subscriber, Part 2 of this post will come right to your happy little inbox.

What are some of your favorite lines from the above three winning entries? Do you see any Dirty Fighting Techniques that I missed? Enquiring minds always want to know here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

REMINDER: Don’t forget to drop by tomorrow for details on the Rockin’ the Row Twitter party that’s in the works for next week!

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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30 Responses to Winners of the Dirty Fighting Contest – Part 1

  1. K.B. Owen says:

    Congrats to the winners! What fabulous scenes! I can’t wait to see what Tiffany does with them.

    Like

  2. ALL SMILES! Thanks for the notes on my entry, Tiffany. And, thank YOU Jenny for putting this opportunity out there. BONUS! The much-cursed maximum of 150 words forced me to tighten this scene. I take back every single bad thing I muttered about the rules you and Tiffany established.

    Side note: the sensual play will involve her thigh versus foot rubbing against his leg. I changed that after I sent in my entry.

    Tiffany, you provide duh-why-didn’t-I-think-of-that POP in your analysis eerily similar to someone else I know. What is her name? Dang! It’ll come to me. Hold on. Hold on…

    She’s the one who taught me hyphenated run-ons (illustrated above). I’m opting in for the class. EEE!

    Like

    • How RUDE and self-absorbed am I? Blame it on my caffeine-infused happy dance.

      I plan to.

      Congrats to Laura and Lena (aka Jamila). I wanted to turn the page and find out what happened. Powerful dialog used in both these scenes. You two trumped me BIG TIME on dirty fighting techniques punched.

      Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Well, Gloria, you and Laura will be in the class together because that’s her pick too. I was so pleased with all these entries…you three ladies rocked it.🙂

      Like

    • I can’t remember – did you already sign up for my class? If you did – then you can get my next one for free in January. I know you will like it!

      You are so energetic – I am hooked!

      Like

      • Jenny Hansen says:

        She hasn’t signed up yet, I don’t believe but she and Laura did state that they choose the course, rather than the edits, for their win. I’ll send you their emails. TOTALLY excited about posting your analysis!!!

        Like

  3. Laura Drake says:

    I’m so excited to be selected! It’s so weird – I don’t write short. Ever. But this is the second time in a month I was forced to (I’m with Gloria on the rule thing.) I was shocked to find that not only could I do it – it was actually fun!

    Hmmm, maybe there’s a short story in my future somewhere. Tempting.
    Thanks so much for the opportunity you two – and for the prodding, Jenny.

    So that’s what you feel like when I harrass you!

    Like

    • ooooh short is fun! Explore it Laura! Go Go GO!

      And if it’s not your thing, it might be what you need to learn something new about yourself and your writing. ( kind of like taking an acting class…I’m just sayin’ )

      Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Yup, that’s what the LD Cattle Prod is like…that ain’t no gentle nudge.🙂 Still, it takes a cattle prod with me.

      Congratulations! I’m delighted that Tiffany picked you – you deserved it. GREAT scene and supreme dirty fighting.

      Like

  4. KUDOS to ALL three winners for strong writing!

    BIG CHEERS for Margie Grads, and Immersion Master Class grads, Gloria and Laura!

    You two deserve to be published. I hope you both get THE CALL soon!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Thanks, Margie. I’ve already promised Tiffany I’ll take the trip up the mountain sometime next year.🙂 I’ve got a high-risk pregnancy memoir that needs punching up!

      Like

      • Jenny —

        Yay! I cannot wait to dig deep into deep editing with you in Immersion class. I love stretching brains. And you get to work with Tiffany too. 🙂

        I’m teaching five IMC sessions between January and June. The dates are on the Immersion Master Class page of my website. If you have questions, ask!

        Like

  5. Those are some great entries. Congrats to them all!

    Like

  6. Lena Corazon says:

    Oh my goodness, another wonderful surprise! I am quite honored to be selected, especially seeing how amazing Laura and Gloria’s entries are (and to hear about this four-way tie for 3rd place). Since I won a seat in Tiffany’s class yesterday (!!!), I’ll take the 5 page edit.😀

    Thanks, Jenny and Tiffany, for organizing this!

    Like

  7. Sherry Isaac says:

    Congrats to Laura and Lena. And EEEEE! for Gloria. Am I biased?

    Perhaps.

    Love ya girlfriend. See you in Atlanta tomorrow!

    Like

  8. Marcia says:

    Excellent entries! All 3! Congrats to all! You deserve those prizes.

    Like

  9. Putting the last touches on my edits today, not sure if it will be as perfect as what I came up with before, but here’s to hoping I have a good memory!

    I can’t wait for you guys to be able to sink your teeth into them :)) It was such an honor to be able to get dirty in these dirty fighting scenes.

    See you ladies on Thursday!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Well, as someone who saw an excerpt of what you were up to before the unfortunate moment, I know you’re gonna rock some SERIOUS COWBELL on Thursday! I hope you’re feeling better today…email me.🙂

      Like

  10. Pingback: “Rock The Row” – Twitter Party on 9/5!! | Jenny Hansen's Blog

  11. Hartford says:

    Congrats to the winners – wonderfully done and looking forward to seeing the edits from the master!🙂

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  12. Pingback: Winners of the Dirty Fighting Contest – Part 2 | Jenny Hansen's Blog

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  14. Congratulations to the winners!

    Like

  15. Pingback: Dirty Fighting Contest – Round 2 | Jenny Hansen's Blog

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