Much of pregnancy is a balance of worry and hope, whether we want it to be that way or not. Every pregnancy is different – some are full of movement and nausea, others filled with cramps and mood swings, still others have almost no symptoms at all.
Those are the pregnancies we’re going to talk about. Just like in real life, it’s the quiet ones you’ve got to worry about. Kind of.
- Extreme fatique
- Excessive urgency to pee
- Menstrual-like cramps
Then there are the more disruptive symptoms:
- Nausea and vomiting
- Food sensitivity or cravings
- Muscle cramps
What do first-time mom’s do when they have a walk in the park? When the symptoms and the baby are quiet and they just feel a little tired?
Yep, that’s right. They worry their little pregnant faces off because no news doesn’t FEEL like good news. They can hear all day long that the baby’s fine and busy growing, or that some babies are quiet and they will still worry themselves sick.
But going back to one of my first Risky Baby Business posts, you’ve just got to hand this pregnancy over to your higher power and trust that, if this baby is healthy and developing well, things will work out.
God’s in charge of the pregnancy, you’re in charge of the Zen.
One of my hopes in starting this column before my book was all the way finished is to generate some discussion and to (hopefully) alleviate some new-mommy stress. I had a friend send me a note (see below) just this last week. It really made my day to be able to be a sounding board for her, even though she’s in the wait-and-see mode.
I know how scary it is to feel like you’re adrift with no one to talk to about the crazy worries bashing around your brain. New mom’s just want to have a home for the hormonal rollercoaster of feelings.
Here’s the note:
Can I share a secret? I’m 6 weeks pregnant.
Why can’t my mom know? Because last year I got pregnant for the first time, so excited that i told her at 9 weeks, and she in turn told EVERYONE. Then, there were complications, baby wasn’t growing, then stopped growing, and I had to terminate the pregnancy. At any rate – it SUCKED. I am still getting sympathy looks from all of her friends and neighbors and family members. And some of them have stopped talking to me all together.
What does this have to do with my bad day today? Well the fatigue finally got to me and I succumbed to the call of a nap. Probably more so because all of last night and this morning I have NOT been feeling the inner belly string pulls. This is what happened last time. They just kind of vanished.
Anxiety has taken over.
I only just started feeling the string pulls this last Friday, and they were pretty steady all weekend. Coupled with nausea and gross heart burn. And then suddenly all symptoms stopped (all except the fatigue and slight dizziness).
Your blog helped me a little last night BTW – I tried to relax and meditate. It worked for all of 10 min – but my brain and body are constantly searching for those inner symptoms.
Tell ya the truth, it’s making me a little crazy.
I assured her it was normal to be feeling a little crazy. Then, I told her to get lots of rest and to take care of herself so she could be confident that she was doing her part.
I also encouraged her to get busy. It’s much harder to worry when you’re busy. I applied for a job when I was pregnant, rather than stay home contemplating the “what-ifs” in my pregnancy (which were numerous).
Whatever it is you get busy with, do start a project of some kind. I don’t know that I’d have made it through the entire 42 weeks without a pile of work to keep me occupied.
Here’s another fact that will hopefully cheer up my pal. For most women, getting pregnant is one of the most difficult hurdles to clear. We talked about this in last weeks post and the comments were AWESOME. (I’d particularly recommend you look at Sonia Madeiros’ comment – I’m considering doing a post on it, it was so fabulous. 🙂 ).
I’m going to talk more about this waiting game in the next few weeks. It is one of the very hardest things, in my opinion. It’s really hard to describe how it feels to wait to see whether your baby is OK, but I’ll do my best.
For those of you who have been pregnant (husband or wife) – what do you remember as the first symptom you had? If you were pregnant multiple times, was there one thing that told you for sure that you were pregnant? For those of you who want to be pregnant, is there a particular symptom you worry about when your time comes?
I love to hear from you! Please do leave a comment if you have time, or click the button in the upper right to subscribe to More Cowbell and Risky Baby Business. I hope you’re having a great weekend!