Undie Chronicles, Vol. 26: Undie-Ventures in Vegas, Oh My!

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen

I had no idea when this began that there were so many hilarious undie-based topics to discuss. Plus it’s Monday, and I like a good Monday belly laugh. Our pal, Gloria Richard, had an Undie-Venture in Vegas!

She spied…she stalked…she skulked…she strutted.

She’s here to tell you all about her “Undies Undercover” adventure. It’s epic.

Note: All photos are original and have been re-inserted, IYKWIM.

*  *  *  *  *  *

Undie-Ventures in Vegas
by Gloria Richard

There I was, I was ogling the scene in Vegas…

When who should walk by but a man in a hat

Gloria Vegas 2With a butt.

Not just any butt.

This dude had my dream butt.


The butt I want on my body.

Not in the sense you might think I want that butt on my body.

[To that ‘might think’ population: Shame on you! My stars! Why, I never!]

Anyhoooo. After stalking further investigation…

Gloria Vegas 3


I confirmed his butt had defined lift and, get this, NO HAIL DAMAGE!

Would the butt-with-the-hat mind if I asked about his exercise regimen, his lotions and potions, whether or not any Vegas surgeons did butt transplants?

My pictures of this dude?  They’re not stalking. They’re job aides for my trainer, who winces when I mention PB (Perky Butt and Boob) goals.

And, then… OMG!

Butt-with-the-hat turned around.

KA-CHING! It was an Undie-Venture waiting to happen. There was no way I would leave Freemont Street without evidence for Jenny, The Queen of the Undie-Verse.

I flip-flopped into The Golden Nugget and snagged sister Sandy at her video poker game. (No ka-ching happening there.) Cashing her out was a Random Act of Kindness.

Truly selfless.

I dragged led her outside, handed over my iPhone, and pointed out the target.

She did not share my glee.

Sandy: You aren’t serious.

Gloria: It’s an Undie-Venture for the Undie-Chronicles.

Sandy: A what for the what?

Gloria: Long story. He’s headed this way.

Sandy: Crap Goodie!

Sandy’s chatter during the photo shoot didn’t distract him because he works for tips he’s a professional.

Gloria Vegas 5Sandy
: PLEASE don’t make me do this.

Gloria: What happens in Vegas…

Sandy: Goes on a BLOG!

Gloria: Take the pictures. You’ll get good gambling Karma. I’m the one getting my picture taken.

Sandy: I’m the one looking at this.

Gloria: Just. Take. The. Picture.

CLICK!Gloria Vegas 4

WHOOOOP! Down he went into the old slip and slide.

Makes me wonder if he has socks stuffed in that G-String a big heart.


I blinked on the first shot and begged for another. Sandy grumbled.


I didn’t yet have the grand finale picture; the one I’d wanted all along.
Gloria Vegas 1I lined up with man-with-the-butt.

Sandy? What did she have to lose?

Except her pride…

Her self-esteem…

Her will to live.


Since my sister skedaddled before I could strike another pose, the Undie-Venture ended.

*pausing for a moment of silence to THE BUTT*

Thanks, Sandy for your help. I’m sorry that good-egg-good-gambling-karma blather was a big fat lie fib.

Thanks, Jenny, for the opportunity to strut my dream butt on More Cowbell, where the Undie-Verse thrives and no post is complete without at least one IYKWIM.

Finally, thanks, Victoria’s Secret, for support throughout. IYKWIM.

* * * * * *

Jenny here. I don’t know about the rest of you, but now I have a new resolution to add to my list: a butt with no hail damage. (<– There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.)

Gloria, my lovely, please take a bow. You deserve it for that kind of Monday entertainment. To read the other half of her “Adventures in Vegas,” click here.

Have y’all ever had a Vegas adventure? Was it an undie-venture? If you change the names to protect the innocent, can you tell us in the comments? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

Posted in More Cowbell, Undie Chronicles | Tagged , , , , , | 49 Comments

Little Darlings Anonymous — 12 Steps to Recovery

A Techie Tuesday gift to all my writing friends. . .

Hello. My name is Piper Bayard, and I’m a Little Darling Addict.

Piper Bayard

Meet Piper Bayard

Hi, Piper. Welcome.

Thank you. I’d like to say I’m happy to be here today, but that wouldn’t be true. The fact is, I made up a hundred excuses as to why I didn’t need this meeting. Sure, I knew I had one or two Little Darlings in my writing, but I could get rid of them any time.

And then the little voice inside me . . . You know the one . . . That little voice that calls us on our crap and keeps us from enjoying the denial we wallowed in before we first saw the light of Novel Structure . . .

That little voice told me that if I was fighting this meeting so hard, it was because this was where I needed to be. So I’m here.

*Polite clapping.*

Thank you.

This week, I want to share my Step 7 with you.

I humbly asked my editor to perform Radical Little Darling Extraction Surgery on my WIP and extract all of my Little Darlings. *shudder*

I was so proud of my manuscript.

I had colorful characters, exquisite action, and details about everything from trimming pottery to the nocturnal habits of pet mice. Every clever joke I had ever laughed at was deftly woven in and disguised as meaningful dialogue. All of my favorite people from my whole life were right there in one place.

Of course, none of that had anything to do with my plot, but it was all so sparkly and shiny.

Piper Bayard's Edit Job

Actual photo of my editor at work. (via Canstock)

I didn’t understand at first why my editor took one look at it and broke out a chainsaw. But when she placed the roaring pulverizer at the throat of one of my favorite-but-forced jokes, I fell to my knees, pleading, Noooooo. Not that one.”

At that point, she mercifully cut her engine and guided me through a process I now use to help others in Little Darlings Anonymous.

12 Steps of Little Darlings Anonymous

  1. Admit you are powerless over your imaginary friends, and that your Works In Progress have become unmanageable.
  2. Believe that an Editor greater than yourself can restore your prose to sanity.
  3. Make the decision to turn your will and your manuscripts over to your Editors, whoever you understand them to be.
  4. Undertake a searching and fearless critical inventory of all of the Little Darlings that are wholly irrelevant to your stories.
  5. Admit to your Editors, to yourself, and to your beta readers the exact nature of your self-indulgences.
  6. Become entirely ready to have your Editors remove all the Little Darlings from your Works In Progress.
  7. Humbly ask your Editors to mercilessly slaughter all of your Little Darlings when you do not have the strength to do it yourself.
  8. Make a list of all persons you have subjected to your original manuscript and be willing to make amends to each one who did not kill themselves with sporks by page fifty.
  9. You must make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when doing so would cause them to injure themselves or others at the mere memory of your manuscript.
  10. Continue to undergo edits, and, when your Editors sniff out Little Darlings, promptly submit them for termination.
  11. Seek, through study and daily word count, to improve your conscious contact with your plots, as you understand them, seeking the knowledge to distinguish between Little Darlings and actual elements of your stories.
  12. After experiencing a literary awakening as the result of these Steps, carry this message forward to other Little Darling Addicts, and practice these principles in all of your written endeavors.

I worked the first six steps for months, fruitlessly attempting to justify inappropriate violence, psychotic character behavior, and excessive verbiage that rivaled the unedited version of The Count of Monte Cristo.

But it was no good. The truth was the truth . . .

One Little Darling is too many, and a thousand are never enough.

I had to “Let Go, and Let Editor.” It got bloody fast . . . *sob*

A tissue box appears and arms embrace me.

It’s ok . . . I’m ok, now. *deep breath*

Just as I had humbly asked, my editor showed no mercy.

She hacked my cool “reminiscing over every book we own as we’re hurriedly packing them into hiding” scene. She obliterated my two whole chapters on “finding the fugitive in the hidden cave.” She even vaporized my detailed recitation of Mexican border laws in a post-apocalyptic world, just because none of the action took place at the Mexican border.


And I know this is going to be hard for some of you to hear . . . Believe me. It’s even harder for me to tell you . . .

She removed and autopsied 74 of my 87 main characters. Even after I named them all and shared each of their backgrounds and habits in depth!

Piper Bayard on Editing

Actual sign on my editor’s office door.                    (Photo credit via Canstock)

At first, I was stunned. I thought I was ready for that 7th Step, but when she revved that engine, I didn’t know if my career ambitions would survive.

I even considered running home to my writing group. The one that met every Saturday for fifteen years with no one ever getting published. I needed to hear them tell me, just one more time, how one day, those 587 agents and publishers who turned me down were going to be sorry.

But then, as Little Darling parts flew around me, and the scent of blood and flesh filled my nostrils, a strange transformation took place. Deep down in my gut, I realized something . . . This felt goooooood!

Before I knew it, I was right there next to my editor with a chainsaw of my own. Whacking away monologues, sniping at adverbs, and hunting down three more of those 87 characters who’d hidden in some redundant metaphors.

It wasn’t easy, and I had quite the mess to stitch up by the time we were finished, but now, I have a real plot with relevant characters in place of “tea time with my imaginary friends.”

After oceans of sweat, blood, and pain, my story was saved, and it is now FIRELANDS, a published dystopian thriller.

I’m living proof, folks. The program works when you work it.

Thank you for listening today.

The Writers Serenity Prayer

Grant me the 
to accept that things have got to change;

The courage to
 change the things I can;
And a good
 editor to help me know the difference.

Tell us about your little darlings. Do you know them when you see them? Do you enjoy the slaughter, or do the twelve steps make you want to channel your Inner Bitch Face?

 *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

For any of you who were here yesterday, finding out about the Effit and Effoff Fairies, you’ll know that Piper has a book coming out today!

Risky Brides

Now, I’m writing spy thrillers with Jay Holmes, who is a forty-year veteran covert operative and a senior member of the intelligence community. Our debut novella, THE SPY BRIDE, is in the Bestsellers’ Collection RISKY BRIDES, where we join USA Today Bestsellers Vicki Hinze, Rita Herron, Donna Fletcher, Peggy Webb, and Kathy Carmichael, and veteran authors Kimberly Llewellyn and Tara Randel to share our unique take on what it means to be a risky bride.

8 novels and novellas—8 genres—8 RISKY BRIDES. RISKY BRIDES releases today for only $.99 and is available for a limited time at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iBookstore, and Kobo.

The Spy Bride Risky Brides Boxed Set final Cover

To celebrate our release, Holmes and I will give away one copy of RISKY BRIDES to someone who comments below. To determine the winner, I will put the names of everyone who comments below in a hat and have my daughter draw one out at random on Friday, October 24, at 9:00 p.m. Mountain Time.

Holmes and I will also be giving away three prizes—a Secret Decoder Ring, a stash of Ghirardelli chocolate, and a bottle of Mumm Napa sparkling wine—to three randomly selected subscribers to our newsletter on November 27. Sign up now for the Bayard & Holmes newsletter to enter.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Piper Bayard & Jay Holmes

Piper Bayard & Jay Holmes

Piper Bayard is an author and a recovering attorney with a college degree or two. She writes spy thrillers with Jay Holmes, a forty-year veteran covert operative and a current senior member of the intelligence community. Piper is the public face of their partnership.

You can contact Bayard & Holmes in comments below, at their site, Bayard & Holmes, on Twitter at @piperbayard, on Facebook at Bayard & Holmes, or at their email, BH@BayardandHolmes.com.

Posted in Inspiration, Techie Tuesday | Tagged , , , , , | 28 Comments

Avoiding Frozen Bitch Face — What You Need To Know

Imagine having this conversation while climbing up a mountain in Colorado. I laughed so hard, I almost fell off the path.

Wishing you a day full of laughter, and a visit from one of the fairies mentioned below… ~Jenny

Frozen Bitch Face
By Piper Bayard

Everyone’s face freezes at forty-five.

Seriously. At forty-five, give or take a year or two, Frosty the Face Freezer breathes on us at an unpredictable instant, and the expression we are wearing on our face at that moment is frozen there. Forever.

This is great for people who laugh and smile on a regular basis no matter how Life has tried to eat them alive. Frosty catches them mid-mirth and leaves them with Frozen Happy Face. They are blessed with a reputation for kindness and wisdom throughout their old age. They get to be the Cool Old Farts that everyone goes to for advice and humor and fights to sit next to at the Thanksgiving table.

I can hear your question now. What happens if Frosty comes in to freeze my face when I’m frowning?

I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but that will result in the dreaded . . .

Frozen Bitch Face.

Frozen Bitch Face is that grumpy look that some people have etched on their faces in the form of permanent frowns and/or butt-shaped wrinkles between their eyebrows.

Note the ass between his brows. You see it, don't you? Image from CanstockPhoto.

Note the ass between his brows.
You see it, don’t you?
Image from CanstockPhoto.

You’ve seen Frosty’s victims.

The Grumpy Old Farts who glare from their porches at children playing ball. The aging women in the grocery stores who pick up each perfect apple and frown before complaining to the produce stockers. And—ugh!—the people on Facebook who can’t stop beating us around the head and shoulders with bad news and warnings about everything from political conspiracies to the zombie apocalypse.

I hear your next question, too. We all have bad days. What if I’m having a random bad day when Frosty comes?

Fear not! There are mitigating factors to minimize bad days and their long term effects on our faces.

The Effit Fairy

The first mitigating factor is called the Effit Fairy. The Effit Fairy can be Peter Pan or a seven-year-old girl with wings, whichever you choose, or both. I won’t judge.

My Effit Fairy Image from CanstockPhoto.

My Effit Fairy
Image from CanstockPhoto.

She visits on our fortieth birthday—well ahead of Frosty’s ambush—to remind us that life is short, and no one else is living it for us. She reawakens the child inside each of us who is too young to give a damn what other people think. She enlightens us to the fact that yoga pants in public are actually a classy fashion statement.

Best of all, the Effit Fairy encourages us to stop giving a crap if other people are “disappointed” in us. Instead, she teaches us to say EFFIT! Because no one else is paying our mortgage, or dealing with our boss, or feeling the pain of that ski injury on our behalf.

Listening to your Effit Fairy is the first and most important thing you can do to avoid Frozen Bitch Face.

Other things that mitigate your chance of having Frozen Bitch Face:

  1. Seek out laughter. Every time you laugh, you increase your chances that Frosty will freeze you with Happy Face.
  2. Find something to like about the people you don’t like, even if it’s only liking the fact that they live in another state.
  3. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all—also known as the Thumper Rule, since the rabbit in Bambi said it first. If Frosty catches you when you’re bitching about people, you will definitely get stuck with Frozen Bitch Face.
  4. Take time for romance. Let’s face it, people who enjoy the hunka-hunka as often as possible are far more likely to be smiling and relaxed when they get frozen.
  5. Find something to be grateful for every day. A grateful heart is a happy heart, and a happy heart makes for eventual Frozen Happy Face.

But what if I’m not approaching forty?

Easy. It’s never too early to practice. Trust me. You’ll need the practice. This positive outlook crap gets harder once arthritis sets in.

She got stuck. Image from CanstockPhoto.

She got stuck.
Image from CanstockPhoto.

But what if I’m over forty, and I’m already stuck with Frozen Bitch Face?

Take heart. All is not lost. Another Fairy comes to visit at fifty. She’s the Effoff Fairy. She makes it easy for you to tell anyone who doesn’t like your Frozen Bitch Face to Effoff, and that will make you smile. :)

A little something else to make you smile . . .


I will give away a copy of my dystopian thriller, FIRELANDS, to a smiling commenter here at More Cowbell. To determine the winner, I will put the names of everyone who comments below in a hat and have my daughter draw one out at random on Friday, October 24, at 9:00 p.m. Mountain Time.

I also write spy thrillers with an amazing partner, Jay Holmes, who is a forty-year veteran covert operative and a senior member of the intelligence community. Our debut novella, THE SPY BRIDE, is in the Bestsellers’ Collection RISKY BRIDES, where we join USA Today Bestsellers Vicki Hinze, Rita Herron, Donna Fletcher, Peggy Webb, and Kathy Carmichael, and veteran authors Kimberly Llewellyn and Tara Randel to share our unique take on what it means to be a risky bride. 8 novels and novellas—8 genres—8 RISKY BRIDES. And only $.99! 

The Spy Bride Risky Brides Boxed Set final Cover

RISKY BRIDES is available for pre-order at Amazon, the iBookstore, and Kobo, and it will be released tomorrow, October 21, at all of these venues and Barnes & Noble.

Sign up for the Bayard & Holmes Newsletter to enter a special SPY BRIDE contest for a chance to win a Secret Decoder Ring, a stash of Ghirardelli chocolate, or a bottle of Mumm Napa sparkling wine. Your email will be sacred to us, as in, Holmes and I won’t share it with anyone. Not even each other.

So what are you doing to prevent or mitigate Frozen Bitch Face? Have you learned to say Effit yet, or are you already to the Effoff stage? I’d love to hear about your journey.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

PiperBayard1Piper Bayard is an author and a recovering attorney with a college degree or two. She writes spy thrillers with Jay Holmes, a forty-year veteran covert operative and a current senior member of the intelligence community. Piper is the public face of their partnership.

You can contact Bayard & Holmes in comments below, at their site, Bayard & Holmes, on Twitter at @piperbayard, on Facebook at Bayard & Holmes, or at their email, BH@BayardandHolmes.com.

Posted in Humor, More Cowbell | Tagged , , , , | 51 Comments

Throwback Thursday: Using OneNote Like It Was 1987

I’d have given a lot for a tablet and a Smartphone “back in the day.” And a Livescribe pen. And OneNote, the note-taking nirvana from Microsoft. My friends at Microsoft invited me to take a look at OneNote and share my favorite features with you.

I am completely jealous of the gadgetry enjoyed by today’s students.

Just for the record, OneNote did not exist when I was going to college. Nor did iPads (or anything “i”) or Smartphones or most of the cool tech I see on college campuses. I’d have probably given up hairspray for OneNote, which is saying a lot for the time period. We were packing hair spray like today’s students pack cell phones.

This was the late-Eighties, when girls’ bangs were shellacked to their highest height with extra-hold spray. (As in, five-foot-six-with-the-hair-five-ten.)

The late-Eighties, when Michael Jackson topped the charts with BAD and The Simpsons first aired on TV.

The late-Eighties, when most of us were still using typewriters. (Yes, I’m serious.)

We had to do it the old-fashioned way, with pen and paper, and the dreaded microfiche. (I bookmarked “microfiche,” for all of you who have never heard of it.) We used Post-Its for our reference points, so we could find that perfect quote for later.

I’m telling you, college was primitive “back in the day.”

Here are the five things I’d have loved to do with OneNote during my time at the University of Missouri.

1. Searchability

I know this isn’t a real live word, but I’m telling you, OneNote’s search feature is the biggest time saver in the world.

You just tap the search box in the upper right or use the Ctrl+F (Command + F on a Mac) shortcut key and you can search through everything. That’s text, OCR images… EVERYTHING. And the results list includes your notebook and section names.

One thing to note: if you’re using OneNote Online, your search only extends to the open Notebook and section. However, once you open the full app, you can search across all notebooks.

2. Microsoft Office Interaction

Whether it’s a “Send To OneNote” from Outlook or the ability to link Powerpoint slides to any notebook, the push and pull between the Office Suite programs is amazing. And a huge time saver.

Note: Here’s a link for how to import Powerpoint into OneNote, using the 2010 version (in case you don’t yet have Office 2013.

Tags Summary.pngOffice 2013 offers new fun with the ability to embed Microsoft Excel tables or edit OneNote’s native tables with Excel.

Also, flagging any line in OneNote allows you to turn that line into an Outlook task with a right-click. You can also email any page in your notebook and the formatting will hold in the Outlook message.

3. Tagging (and Tag Summaries)

OneNote’s ability to do Tag Summaries is rocking my world. I’m not what you’d call a neat note-taker (and I never was). I might star, arrow or tag anything on any page.

And then forget where I put it.

In OneNote, I can go to the “Find Tags” button on the Home Ribbon and search for tags. In the search results in the right sidebar, there is a button that says “Tags Summary.” (see example to the right)

If I click into the body of a notebook page, clicking this button will give me a summary of all the tags I’ve flung around everywhere.

Like I said: Rocking my world. I’d have genuflected over this feature in college.

4. Templates

There are all sorts of templates in OneNote, but the student-based ones are fantastic. Here’s a sample:

Just go to the Insert tab and explore the Templates section in the right sidebar (this is in OneNote 2013). The Academic section has groovy templates for students.

There’s also Business and Planners, or you can make anything your heart desires from a Blank template. I can think of a million uses.

5. One-stop Shopping

I love the idea of being able to make a binder for each book, or each class. Not only do I adore that the Hubs and I can share our shopping lists in OneNote, I can embed any file into my notebooks as either an attachment or a printed page.

But my favorite part, especially now that I’m doing more article writing? When OneNote is installed on a computer, Internet Explorer gets two buttons — Send to OneNote and Link to OneNote.

When I use those clippers to send to OneNote, I get the source URL, a date and time stamp, and the formatting of the original webpage. It’s been invaluable for holding my research until I’m ready to write the article.

Note: For my non-IE friends, the Send to OneNote option will show up in the Print menu of your browser after you’ve opened OneNote the first time.

For those of you like me who are long-graduated, what do you wish you’d had back in your college days? If you’re currently in school, what is your best tech tool? Do you use OneNote? Enquiring minds love to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

P.S. If you want to hear about five MORE of my favorite features, head on over to the Microsoft blog — I’m hanging out there today too. :-)

Posted in More Cowbell, OneNote | Tagged , , , | 25 Comments

Humongous Dreams and the Wilds of Colorado

If y’all see me hanging out chatting ANYWHERE online for the next five days, I give you leave to shake your finger at me. I will be “immersing” with Margie Lawson, which is like getting the Keanu Reeves “Matrix upload” of shiny information and skills.

I don’t know that it will be MORE fun than hanging out with the posse here…

Handerpants with Me and GloriaHanderpants with Me and Jess

But it’s going to be pretty darned mind-bending and exciting.

Note: That’s Gloria Richard and Jess Witkins above in a Handerpants moment. 

For me, learning with Margie is a dream I’ve had for many years. More importantly, it is a commitment I made before:

  • The hip surgery
  • The vertigo
  • The contest finals
  • The Hubster’s heart scare
  • And Babykin’s current wicked case of croup

All those things are fine, I promise you. Even my daughter, who is barking like a seal whenever she coughs, will be fine. But the journey has felt outrageously hard.

I need to remember that. I hope you will too. Stuff works out, if you just keep at it.

What big dreams are you realizing this Fall? My very inquiring mind will want to come find this out…in about five days. :-) In the meantime, feel free to spread out a little, have a party and ring those cowbells!


Posted in Amazing Writers, Inspiration | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

Undie Chronicles, Vol 25: Are Girdles for Men Called Mirdles?

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen

I had no idea when this began that there were so many hilarious undie-based topics to discuss. Plus it’s Monday, and I like a good Monday belly laugh. Our pal, Kitt Crescendo, put this gem on my Facebook page yesterday and I’ve been having fits over it ever since.

Man girdle (mirdle)? And why do his undies look like a pouch/pocket or maybe a downward facing rocket?

Here is the photo in question so y’all can see that downward-facing rocket for yourselves.

Mirdle by Kitt Crescendo
Is that a hunk of burning love, or what? (Don’t answer that.)

If that’s not a contraption to inspire lust, I don’t know what is. (Okay, you please do answer that one.)

But seriously, this is right up here with butt implants for me. It’s false advertising.

If I’m going to make the effort to rip off them clothes to get to your goods, they ought to at least be the goods I saw from the outside. And this guy’s chest is hot. With a chest like that, who gives a rip if he’s got a belly?

I know this is a bit hypocritical coming from a blonde gal who darkens her eyelashes with mascara, but at least in that case, the lashes are clearly visible.

Not so with this Mirdle.

And $3.49 was a ton of money back then, considering you could get a piece of candy for a penny. This guy is trying to sell some candy he doesn’t even have, if you know what I mean.

But do you know what had me rolling in the aisles over this ad? That little box at the bottom that says “Try 10 Days Free.”

What, like a man is going to just slip on into this, sweat it up and jiggle his junk…and then give it back? Who would want it back? There could be re-conditioned, “not-so-gently used” mirdles running around all over the place.


Y’all know I had to go look up Man Girdles to see what the latest and greatest apparatus (apparati?) are. I found the Underworks Zip-N-Trim Support Brief Girdle for Men with 8-inch Powerband for $36.99.

Pictures of this thing-a-ma-jiggy assure me that it gives Spanx a serious run for the money. Not only that but it’s MUCH easier to get in and out of. Hmmmm…if only I needed the pouch, I be throwing out those Spanx I use every three years.

Zip-N-Trim customers also spent scads of money on these other gut-sucking items:

Amazon Mirdles

I had no idea there was such a market for this!

Here was how the gals weighed in on Facebook:

Kitt: A man so lacking in confidence that he’d feel he needed a mirdle is probably not my ideal… However, if this is some sort of support for a back injury, maybe.

Patricia: Kitt I was thinking the same thing. That looks like it would really help with folks who slouch. I could use that back brace to help me sit up straight.

Kitt: Corsets are actually great for that and can be quite fun to wear.

I tell you, these ladies entertained me all afternoon, between the original mirdle ad and the chatting. Alas, I was out on a boat with other people, and therefore unchattable. (I’m plenty available to chat today!)

Have you ever tried on a girdle, male or female? What was your experience? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

Posted in Humor, Undie Chronicles | Tagged , , , , | 30 Comments

Hopped Up for National Coffee Day + Coffee DEALS!

Mondays are traditionally my favorite day here at More Cowbell, but today is truly special because America is celebrating my favorite beverage today: Glorious COFFEE.

I’ve got my t-shirt ready.

Coffee Shirt

My favorite coffee mug.


Here’s where you can get your free (or at least cheap) java jolt today!

Note: Some of you have caught on to this before now, because many of these places have been offering coffee specials for the last several days. This is for everyone hopping on the National Coffee Day training today.

Caribou Coffee is donating 10% of all Amy’s Blend coffee proceeds to CancerCare through October 31.

Dunkin’ Donuts: Free medium cup of Dark Roast Coffee today. This same size and brand will be $0.99 from September 30 to October 5.

Kangaroo Express Convenience Stores are offering 12 oz. cups of Bean Street Coffee for $0.01 today from 6-10 am.

Krispy Kreme is giving away free 12 oz. cups of coffee and offering $1 off all mochas, lattes and ice coffee – today only.

If you live in Colorado, Lamar’s Donuts is giving away free 12 oz. coffees today.

McDonald’s ends it’s two-week giveaway of one complimentary small coffee during breakfast hours.

Original Brooklyn Water Bagel Co. customers can get free hot or iced coffee today, with the purchase of any other menu item.

Peet’s Coffee is giving free samples of coffee and espresso away today. Additionally, they’re doing a buy-one-get-one-free promo and offering a $2 discount off bags of coffee.

Starbucks offered all kinds of deals and freebies last year, but the only thing I’ve discovered this year is a free shipping offer for any purchase $30 or more on their website.

And finally, for our Canadian friends, Tim Horton’s is selling any size for $1 through today. They gave donuts away on National Donut Day, but the coffee is just coming to you a bit cheaper.

So whether you drink regular, decaf or Bulletproof Coffee, today is the day to celebrate your hot cup o’ love. And if you don’t remember how important that beverage is, please refer to Clair’s story of how a “Cup o’ Joe made her man a Ho.”

If you’re feeling creative, here are 34 Unexpected Ways Coffee Grounds Can Make Your Life Better. After I drink the stuff, I put the grounds on my roses, tomatoes and blueberries, but I’m intrigued by several of the ideas on the list. Face masque, anyone?

Happy Monday, y’all…have a great day, whatever your beverage!

Photo from Prince.org

Photo from Prince.org

What role does coffee play in your life? If you don’t drink it, what do you drink? Do you plan to celebrate National Coffee Day? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

p.s. For those of you following my vertigo story, I am now three days without it, which is almost a record for the month. Keep crossing your fingers that the VRT (vestibular rehab therapy) is working! Thanks!!

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