They’re stepping it up at PT in terms of exercises (and kicking my butt), and yesterday they taught me the “Dead Bug” and the “Tabletop.” Of course the Hubs and I now call that last one the “Table Dancer” because that’s how we roll, but really…
WHO COMES UP WITH THESE NAMES?
They already have me doing two called the “Backloader” and the “Side-lying clamshell” and I’ve been giggling about those for more than a week.
So I asked my PT guys: “What comes next week, the Cockroach and the Stripper Pole?”
Thankfully, they are amused by me. And they don’t mind if I turn around so that my lily-white “cash and prizes” are not facing the door when I wear shorts. In fact, after the introduction of the six new exercises today (Dead Bug among them), I don’t think I’ll be wearing any loose shorts there ever again.
As I said to them, “My husband hasn’t even seen me from that angle. I promise you, no one else wants to either.”
Note: PT stands for Physical Therapy and it’s what they’re doing to me now that my Cruella days are over.
I’ve decided one of my new missions in life is to see if I can name up a cool new PT exercise. At the very least, I’ve been renaming all the ones I do now to stuff that makes me laugh.
- The “Suck It In” (involves sucking your tummy in as hard as you can while laying on your back). And they want you to breathe normally. It really makes no sense to me.
- Side-lying clamshell (feet together, knees opening like a clam) – I just graduated to using a band for this. p.s. That’s a stretchy band, not a bunch of rockstars who crash my PT. By the way, clamshell is the real name – I couldn’t top it. Ditto with “Dead Bug.”
- The “Backloader” (on your back, knees bent, heel pressed into table – your foot mimics the backloader that slides dirt toward your butt, one foot at a time).
- The “A$$ Clench” is exactly what it sounds like – you hold them cheeks together. Tight. For a count of ten. They usually call it the “Glute Squeeze.” My version is: “Do y’all want me to squinch up my butt cheeks now?”
Attractive, no? It’s a good thing these PT guys are hot.
Just for a good visual, here’s the Dead Bug, demonstrated by one of the narrowest men I’ve ever seen. And by the way, they started me off with all the arms going – there was no “working up to it.” Bastards.
Do you have any cool exercise names to share with me? (They don’t have to be real.) Also, any good hip stretches? Enquiring minds need to know these things here at More Cowbell!