Two Subjects I Love: Potty Humor and our Military

That’s Baby Girl with Daddy – more interested in the cake topper than the cake…

More Cowbell Monday is always about laughter. It’s just a rule around here that we start the week that way.

Today I’m recovering from an Elmo Fiesta of massive proportion! We bounced, we ran, we ate, we played.

We all have a party hangover at Chez Hansen, so tired Jenny is going with the age-old default of potty humor, with a teensy tiny dash of serious. 

I just had an article from Digital Journal come across my desk that says:

The United States Marine Corps has banned audible farting in Afghanistan because it is culturally offensive to civilians working with the military and members of the Afghan National Army.

Say what?!

REALLY? Our Marines can risk their lives, but they can’t break wind? Shut the front door! As the younger sister of a flatulent brother, who is a highly ranked officer in the Missouri National Guard, I cannot even fathom this.

p.s. You have got to take a moment to read the comments on that Digital Journal post! My fave comment so far: “All I have to say is ‘Semper Fi…let it fly!’ Oorah.”

My thoughts on the subject (besides, “Really, people?!”):

1. Military food is gaseous food. Whether it’s the normal mess at the mess hall or MREs (meals ready to eat), our boys and girls in uniform are typically getting a good colon workout, if you know what I mean.

2. Farting is an art for most of the men and many of the women I know. My pal, Natalie Hartford, does entire posts on the subject! She’s even provided the solution with Subtle Butt. I really believe the United States government should stock up on this product for the duration of our time in Afghanistan and just let our military exercise their colons at will.

In honor of the time-honored potty humor tradition, here is a quick video to make you laugh.


What do you think of this “ban?” Did that video make you bust a gut laughing like it did me? Enquiring minds always  want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

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About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! My passion is finding those qualities that are unique in every person and every piece of fiction. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestorm.wordpress.com). Write on!
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28 Responses to Two Subjects I Love: Potty Humor and our Military

  1. K.B. Owen says:

    OMG, Jenny! I’m sure the Afghans need to toot from time to time – all those lentils, you know. That’s crazy! And, um, how are they going to enforce this ban? Will there be a fart overseer? LOL!

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Al those lentils…LMAO!! Yup, I thought this was the dumbest thing I’d seen in a long time and I’m with you – I want to know HOW they’re gonna enforce that. :-)

  2. Reetta Raitanen says:

    Hilarious video, Jenny! And Kathy asks some good questions. Fart overseer would be an interesting occupation in someone’s CV :D

  3. donnagalanti says:

    There must have been an awful lot going on to actually ban this! I say – Atten-hut! Butts in the air. Fire Fartacus!

  4. Emma says:

    The Graham Norton show!. He is one funny man. Now I’m going to be afraid to use public bathrooms :)

  5. LauraDrake says:

    Oh no, you didn’t! Seriously, there’s something wrong with laughing until tears roll on a Monday morning, Jenny! Stop it!!!

    As far as the military ban, I wouldn’t worry about it. I’ve been working to get my husband to stop for 25 years. Getting a platoon to stop? Yeah, good luck with that.

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Oh yes, I di-i-id. Monday morning guffaws is what I do. Can you just imagine how many flatulence jokes are gonna come out of this?? And the SBD practice drills…

  6. *wiping tears* I am a mature woman, mother, grandmother … what is it about farting that still makes me laugh uncontrollably? I certainly would not qualify for the fart overseer job. All I can say about that “ban” is huh?

  7. Julie Glover says:

    Seriously, our guys can shoot guns but can’t cut the cheese? Will that be part of basic training now? How to hold it in? Good gravy, that’s ridiculous.

    All that said, I am attempting to teach my sons not to let it rip at inappropriate times. (Do not ask how successful I’ve been thus far.)

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      This comment CRACKED ME UP, Julie! We are not big “windbreakers” in my house either, but my military brother? He is stenchful. It’s scary. I don’t know that he’d be able to put a stopper on that booty of his.

      • Julie Glover says:

        So would you believe I brought up this topic at the dinner table? I asked for my sons’ opinion, and one of them said, “Then I’m not joining the military.” Apparently, it’s a make-or-break matter for a young man to be able to fart freely when necessary. Do we really want to cut down on our recruiting numbers based on this policy?

  8. You have got to be kidding. What do Afghans do, run to the john every time they feel a gas bubble coming on? LOL! And I’m LOL at Julie’s comment. I remember having to teach my daughter before she started kindergarten that “girls are supposed to sneak ‘em out!” Hopefully at least our female soldiers learned that, too.

  9. tomwisk says:

    The video was a hoot. As a former member of the military I remember breifings about the local customs. They never told us about letting one rip in public, or crop dusting a crowd.

  10. Okay, definitely need to pass this on to my in-laws—two of which are marines. Based on the few events I’ve attended on military basis, they don’t take not-farting laws to seriously! LOL Hilarious stuff, Jenny. Thanks for the laugh!

  11. What?!?! Seriously, how are they going to enforce this? Will there be a fart patrol? Will we need to ask Congress for special funds for the no fart zone? Way too funny! Thanks for the laugh and great start to the week. Hope you recover from your party fatigue.

  12. John Holton says:

    I saw this earlier and couldn’t believe it. Hell, the Marines are over there saving their country, and they have the nerve to look a gift horse in the backside? Damn.

  13. Sharla Rae says:

    If our guys have to shoot, they ought to be able to toot! Doesn’t the gov. have anything better to do than issue anti-tooting rules? Geez!
    I laughed out loud at video! Too funny!

  14. ROFL!!! OMG that video is to DIE for!
    Ok, no farting?!?! Seriously?!? I’d be in jail. There’s simply no way?! A person can’t hold that in. It’s unhealthy. I mean, how would our military folks be able to go into combat when they are all cramped up and green with gas. That stuff needs an EXIT!
    LOL!!!! Thank you for the FAB shout out darlin’!!! Woot woot!!!

  15. Pingback: Link Feast Vol. 7 | Reetta Raitanen's Blog

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