More Cowbell Monday is always about laughter. It’s just a rule around here that we start the week that way.
Today I’m going to take you back a few weeks to an impromptu roundtable discussion about online dating between twelve women.
We were at a birthday dinner for one of my BFF’s (y’all have heard about this poor gal whose date said: “Maybe you need another drink, because you seem kinda frigid to me.”)
All of these women except me were single, and all of these women had dating STORIES.
Having been with my hubby for eight years, I’ve missed a lot of the online dating
horror experiences they relate. I know there are couples out there finding true love online – the services would be out of business otherwise – but this hasn’t been the case for MY friends.
Nope, here’s what a fly on the wall would have heard at our table:
“If these younger guys actually stopped texting me long enough to ask me out on a date, it would be shocking.”
“And why is it that all these guys want to send you pictures of them naked before you’ve ever met them? Give me some mystery, dude!”
“What is up with all the ‘winking?’ Do YOU wink, or wait for THEM to wink?”
“I stopped winking at guys. Whenever I do, they evaporate from the planet.”
“I’ve stopped winking too. The last dude I winked at sent me 14 emails. All of them had my photo attached and they had creepy one-liners in the body of the email.”
“Like ‘Yum’ or ‘Ooooh, Baby!’ One email just said, ‘You sizzle my face.’ I don’t want to sizzle anyone’s face!!”
“Is anyone else noticing the increased interest in anal sex?” [To my shock, several of the gals piped up and agreed.] “I mean, seriously? You’re gonna ask me on the phone before we ever date if I like anal sex?? Now I don’t want any part of you near me.”
[This led to a whole side discussion on whether or not she was wearing white pants in any of her Match.com photos.
Note: Anyone who listens to Kevin and Bean on KROQ (106.7 FM here in the Southland) is well aware of their ongoing theory about white pants being code for "do me on the flip side."]
The final concensus was that by the time you reach 30-35, your Crap-o-meter gets too fine-tuned to be able to date without cynicism. These women were dying to go back to the days when nice men asked them out without 15 texts and three photos of naked torsos flying back and forth.
As one particularly gorgeous gal said, “I miss the days when I could just be a hussy. Why is it so hard to find someone to be a hussy with nowadays?”
I didn’t have an answer for her, but here’s a sample of the kind of dating pool she’s getting to pick from (this video kills me every time I watch it! “I got a whole can of peas. A pallet of peas. I’ve got a whole warehouse o’ peas!”):
Have you tried online services like Match.com? What was your experience? Do you think online dating is helping or hindering the dating process? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!